I work with men who are in love with women with whom they are very incompatible, miserable men because they are not able to see their relationship as it is, and men who miss out on amazing experiences because they are too scared to do so. be vulnerable. Don’t get me wrong, I’m not judging, dating is hard. It’s confusing and most of the time it sucks, but learning when to leave and how to recognize when you’ve hit gold is pretty important. Wouldn’t it be easier if you had a guide to help you navigate the facets of dating connectivity? Well, put on your belt, buttercup, because I just got Gandalf’s beard on and we’re about to embark on a fucking epic adventure.
There are several types of connection. Depending on the type of relationship you are looking for, some are more important than others. However, pay attention, because if you are looking for a life partner, they are all necessary components for a healthy and sustainable relationship.
Attraction: I went out with a handsome man who could fuck like a stallion with steroids. I daydreamed about his cock all day, but having a conversation with him was a form of torture. His opinions were stupid, he made strange nasal sounds when he ate and he thought the polar bears were originally from South Korea. After being miserable for a few weeks, I took one last missed look at her body and ended the relationship.
We all know what attraction is, right? You see a person, you literally salivate when you see them and you develop an intense desire to lick every inch of their body. Attraction is very important. This is where 99% of relationships start, especially in dating applications. If you are only interested in one connection, attraction is all you need. However, if you are looking for more than one connection, attraction is just the starting point. Even casual dating or FWB needs more than attraction to survive. Stop trying to force a round peg into a square hole, you can’t fool yourself into liking it. The longer you stay, the more miserable you will make her and yourself. You both deserve to be with someone you really like.
Chemistry: I was with a guy who was crazy, for about a year. The attraction was there, and we had amazing chemistry. We obtained each other, you know? We had balance, we played, only worked…. Until we did. We didn’t want the same things in a relationship, we didn’t want the same things in life. We had amazing chemistry, but when it came to long-term life things, we went in two different directions. The rupture was long, painful and bitter. Much of this pain could have been avoided if we had understood the difference between being crazy about each other and wanting to share a life together. We both knew we weren’t compatible, but like my car’s oil light, we looked away every time the warning lights began to flicker. Our relationship died … and so did my car, like 3 months later. One experience, two lessons learned;)
The chemistry is great. It is an injection of dopamine directly into the chest. It feels like an orgasm on top of a magnificent mountain, lying in a circle of pastries and assorted pastries. Oh, and Morgan Freeman is there, just like telling it all. Whether you’re looking for an adventure, a casual date, or a FWB, attraction and chemistry are all you need, but if you’re looking for something sustainable, chemistry will only last until you have your first discussion or conversation about the future. Sometimes chemistry feels so good that it fools you into thinking it’s compatibility. Don’t fall in love, make a small list of things you need to be happy in a relationship, and don’t modify it for anyone. If you want children and she doesn’t, all the chemistry in the world won’t make it work. Open a dialogue about what you are looking for as soon as you start capturing feelings, it will save you a lot of pain and regret.
Community: So I went out with this guy who was basically my male version. We both enjoyed video games, D&D, reading, and pasta. Guess what we did, like 100% of the time? We played video games, D&D, read and ate pasta. We were both extroverted introverts who needed a little push to get out of the house, we were both perfectionists, a little anxious, very dramatic and had the same taste in literally everything. It was pretty cool to go out with a clone, for a bit. He fucked the way I liked to fuck … but not really the way I liked to be fucked, you know what I mean? We didn’t really fit in so well, but we faced each other. We stagnated, we stopped growing as people. We had some shit in common, but we weren’t really compatible.
Meeting someone you have a lot in common with is great, but compatibility ≠. Sometimes it does, and a bit of similarity is important in every relationship, but what separates a good relationship from an amazing one is growth. Relationships need a healthy balance. A ying to your yang. Don’t fall into a comfortable monotony. Big things exist outside of comfort zones. Get out of your way and you may meet someone amazing.
Compatibility: So I’m with this guy … this boy. OMG.aquest.home. I love the shit out of this man. He is my happy place, my safe space, my partner. I want to drink his semen until he sweats semen. I want to make him soup when he’s sick, clean up his vomit and rub his back until he falls asleep. I want to laugh at him as he tries to learn how to play video games, dress up for his elaborate work dinner, and try not to roll his eyes as luxury people talk about the crunchiness of a $ 300 wine he knows. to grapes and vinegar. and then returns home to hug in bed while catching up with 5-year-old Critical Role episodes. I want to watch hours of pandemic documentaries as we discuss who we will take with us when we quarantine against the possible zombie apocalypse, and I want to sink into it while he speaks ill of me when I finally get scared. He is my best friend and my greatest entertainer. We fit in together. We complement each other. We balance each other. Sometimes he acts like a little kid in the crack, bouncing aimlessly, and I concentrate on him. Sometimes I am dramatic and sensitive and he calms my anxiety. Sometimes he wakes him up in the middle of the night to make him promise that he would stay away from the elephants because he dreamed that he had been trampled, and he will wake up just to swear that he hates safaris … He has the patience of a holy whore. When I hear his voice … oh man, when I hear his voice, my heart beats slowly to match his. It focuses me and pushes me to keep working to learn how to focus. We take care of ourselves, nourish ourselves and remember that we do not lose our individuality. We are diligent in keeping our relationship healthy, because we want it to last a long time.
Compatibility is hard to find, really really is- but if I had stayed in any of my other relationships because I felt comfortable, alone, or for fear of the unknown, I would never have found my person.… And if you’re stuck in a relationship that you know isn’t working, or you’re too scared to step out of your comfort zone, you may never find yours. You deserve to find your person, or casual sex, or a FWB, or whatever you are looking for. Respect yourself enough to stay away from an unsatisfactory relationship and respect it enough not to stay when you shouldn’t stay.
If you are ready to find your person and do not know where to start, call me and I will do everything I can to help you. Read my testimonials, check out my services, or get a gift card for a friend.
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