In your past dating or relationship experiences, have you ever noticed that there are people who only respond negatively to love? It might be someone you care about, but it didn’t work because of their problems. Or maybe it’s not even someone you’re romantically interested in. It can be a family member or a friend.
Some of us respond negatively to love because of past wounds
If you think about it, it is quite ironic to say that people respond negatively to the love that usually causes feelings of happiness. When you’re in love, you can’t help but smile all the time. However, there are reasons why some of us seem unable to accept the happiness they give us:
1. Love causes painful feelings from the past.
As mentioned, when we have been hurt in the past, these feelings could arise when we are with a new romantic partner. How we have been hurt could be repeated in our minds. This fear prevents us from receiving the love they give us.
2. Identity crisis
When you’re with someone, you usually change who you are. There are people who do not want to change. Whenever they feel in love, they are entertained by the idea of not knowing each other while they are in a relationship. What they don’t realize is that you discover new things about yourself when you share your life with someone else.
3. It threatens the psychological defenses we have built.
Finally, love may be threatening the defenses we have already built. It’s like the first item on this list that allows fear to make decisions that are supposed to be made from the heart. We do not want to give up our defenses. It has worked for us ever since. As a result, we move away from love instead of inviting it in.
Our wounds from the past prevent us from receiving the love we deserve. However, we must remember that we have power over what we feel. If we allow pain to control us, or even prevent us from opening up to someone we really care about, we will never find true love. For more tips on dating and dating, read other blog posts.
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