Why men are cheap

Why are men cheap?

Have you ever wondered why you don’t take your wallet off on your dates?

I haven’t posted any questions from my readers in a long time, so here’s a good one that I had fun answering on this topic. Maybe you’re in the same situation as her …

Check it out:

QUESTION QUESTIONS AND REPORTS FROM A READER:

Hey, Carles …

I just started dating a guy who has been showing a lot of attributes and interest (very communicative / consistent).

The first time we went out, it was really bad, but I wasn’t sure how I was feeling, so I offered to split the check. Normally a guy will say he has it, but he lets me pay my share. It didn’t bother me too much because I didn’t really know if I was really interested.

I knew I had been on vacation the week before (when we started communication) and he told me it was over three times more of what he had planned (bachelor party weekend with the Cayos boys). He said he needed a few weeks to recover, but that he wanted to take me to a good restaurant the next time I left.

I went to visit him a couple of weeks later (we live two hours apart, although I know he should have come my way and he was organizing, I decided I still didn’t want him on my lawn and I wanted to look around him, friends, etc.) and he took me out and paid me for dinner and drinks and then more drinks later that night.

At that time we had been communicating with him on a daily basis always initiating texts and calls for a total of three weeks and where I shared a lot of personal information about him and wanted to get to know him so I felt comfortable with him. We ended up wrapping ourselves up (big surprise).

The next day he took me to lunch and when the bill arrived he said out loud “wow, $ 40” (close), so I offered to split it.

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My question is this: is it a really bad sign or is there something I say or how do I do it to make it clear that while you are courting me it should be done?

I don’t care how much money a guy has, but it’s a nuisance if they are cheap. Maybe he was wrong because I slept with him. Taking mental notes for next time and I would appreciate your perspective.

– Marcie

______________________

CARLOS ANSWERS:

Well, this is definitely a hot topic when it comes to men, women and dating.

That’s how I feel about the theme of “The Bill”. (And I’m not talking about Clinton either.)

If a guy asks you out, pay.

You can counter the offer to pay your share (ie educated), but he insisted, and then yielded.

This is “the dance.”

Now, on that note, he a little failed on the first date. Not making the check on the first date is a major mistake.

Especially if he was wrong and organized everything.

Later, he did the right thingand he probably realized he needed it, when he took you out and gave you dinner.

But here’s what to keep in mind:

Modern media, along with rabid propaganda, have completely confused men on the subject.

Unless a boy has a father as simple and clear on this subject as I am (very unlikely), he is more likely not to know what he is. supposed do.

Think of all the confusing and confusing media messages about “empowered and empowered women.”

Yes, women are equal and have careers and all that, and HAUR of. But most guys are confused by the “inspiring” messages addressed to women in magazines and movies.

They ask:

  • – Do we pay?
  • – Would you offer your “liberated” sensibilities if you did?
  • – If she offers, what does that do to mean?

It’s crazy, and I don’t envy today’s guys in this situation. It sucks a little.

I wish all the men in the world could say this simple rule:

You ask, you pay. She answers, you insist.

Okay.

Women also need to understand the male side of this.

We men feel as if we had a bubble floating above our head with our income, and these dollar signs are all that women are looking for.

Yeah Al that sounds pretty crap to me, Looks like BT aint for me either. So it will probably sting a little, which is why it had such an unfortunate outburst.

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(SIDE NOTE: On my first Valentine’s Day with my wife, Jen, we went to Acqua, a San Francisco restaurant that specializes in V-Day dinners. When the bill arrived, it was over $ 600, and somehow I managed to stifle (most of) my surprise. To this day, Jen and I joke that I’ve already paid for 10 years of V-day dinners.)

Yeah Al that sounds pretty crap to me, Looks like BT aint for me either. If this is a trafficking killer for you, save yourself the effort right now and stop watching it.

However, if you believe that the benefits outweigh the disadvantages, then so be it accept this quality of yours (instead of trying to fix it later) and move on.

Because you realize that no man is perfect … right?

Look, women need to realize that most guys are cheap. It’s ours nature.

Here’s the point: most women are cheap too.

So unless he’s a trust fund boy with millions to fund his champagne nights at clubs (and the rehab bill for when he has a problem), he probably just grew up doing his best to get to the end of the month.

We’re doing our best in this shitty economy to make a living everyone something else.

Women they are, by far, the bargain hunters and the ones looking for discounts.

You’re smart like that. Who wants to pay the full price?

Is that when a guy feels like a value being evaluated on a date instead of a human being who wants to be seen by his heart and soul instead of his bank balance, that makes him a little more sensitive. .

Especially when he’s even more burdened by the expectation of paying the bill for something that could leave him High and dry.

Meaning: to leave with nothing at the end except a tingle in his cheek and a “you’re so sweet.” May to see her again.

So it’s a real act of faith for a boy invest on a date with a woman when he’s not quite sure he’s digging her up.

We do not do it You need sex on the first date (and most guys don’t really want it, by the way. We know that sabotage a real relationship most of the time.)

We just want to know where we are, just like you.

A date for a woman also has high expectations. For sure.

You have to get up and smile, be charming and listen to their boring stories and …

Sigh…

Okay, what is it point of all this?

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We both have shit for all this posture and putting fronts and expectations, and so on.

It would be a lot easier if we could just talk about these things with the other person instead of having to go to our friends for opinions, or ask Carlos a question at www.datingadviceguru.com.

So what do we do with this …?

First, cut it a little more, and see how it goes. Maybe keep your eyes peeled for unacceptable cheapness.

But realize that in his heart, he it doesn’t they want to be cheap. He is just doing his best to meet everyone’s expectations, trying to earn a living while make a living.

And perhaps your communication and consistency that you mentioned go beyond your budget awareness.

After all, what will ensure a greater long-term relationship success for both of you?

Just a little thought … 😉

Yours in Perfect Passion,

Carlos Cavallo

(If you want to understand what the clueless boys can be like, take a look at Bobby’s advice HERE)

UPDATED ON 9/30/2021



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