It always disappoints, but I am amazed at the number of women and men who blame and hate “the other woman” or “the other man”.
Yes, affairs and cheating are baffling, and for most couples, it’s the kiss of death.
It makes me shudder when I hear the wife or girlfriend yell at the other woman, guilt, ask how could I do this to my family !?
The answer is because other women looking to steal your man and be a house destroyer don’t care less how you feel.
I’ve said it before in my article on why can’t you trust people, that people in general do what is best for themselves, not what is best for you.
Of course, there is a minority of women who do have morals. But when it comes to women and a man of high status who may be married, morale often flies out the window, because women are always looking for resources.
Economic, physical and emotional resources. They need it, because they are the ones carrying the child.
I am a mother of 3 with a dream husband (whom I have had the privilege of seeing as other women try to “tempt” and “steal” many times), so I “get” to totally hate thought — or action. of having your husband leave you for another woman.
But I can’t subscribe to the mentality of blaming the other woman.
Related: What makes a man leave his wife for another woman?
There is nothing like a house destroyer
Although I understand the pain of being deceived (I have gone through it myself), and I can understand that in these moments of vulnerability and pain that we want to attack the “other woman” actually has nothing to do with the other woman.
There is no such thing as a house destroyer simply because if a third party can get into the relationship bubble and destroy it, then your relationship was weak to begin with.
There is no such thing as a house destroyer because if it was all based on someone else “tempting” our partner or coming into the vicinity of our partner with bad intentions, then no relationship would ever work.
And maybe we never have an intimate relationship, frankly, it would never be worth it, and we could all stay single.
(Read my article: If you keep doing this, you will always be single)
This is like being constantly afraid that you will be robbed; Imagine what this would do to your mood.
You may not always be actively concerned about someone stealing your man, but if you have the idea below that other women are always a threat to the lasting capacity of your relationship, then your whole world will be unbalanced.
Therefore, ultimately, you will experience suffering within yourself and in your relationship.
Related: He said another woman is more attractive than me. How do I deal? [A Guide]
Meaning of Home Wrecker …
This is the official meaning of a household destroyer: a person accused of breaking up a marriage or a long-term relationship, especially as a result of having an affair with one of the couples.
The key word here is “blame.”
While I understand that other women can be a threat to the happiness of your marriage, I don’t believe in blaming them for breaking up a long-term relationship.
Instead, I think the real cause of the breakup is three main things:
- The choice of the wife in husband / partner
- The lack of ingenuity of man and woman within marriage; i
- The lack of emotional connection i emotional attraction maintained within the marriage. Because when these two things are present in abundance, then it is almost impossible for an external part to cause a rupture. The man and woman would simply be too emotionally tight and too in love to be susceptible to outside couple poachers.
Tell me, what exactly does it mean to be in an intimate relationship if other people can threaten your position as husband / wife or girlfriend / boyfriend so easily?
Is it more that the woman cannot manage her fear, the pain and the loneliness that surrounds the fears of not being up to other women?
So much so that it doesn’t really focus on the quality of your relationship and to be a woman of value to her husband?
Instead of blaming the home wrecker, do it
In other words, it’s worth focusing your valuable energy on it increasing the value of your partner as a woman in your relationship, for being obsessively afraid or vigilant.
The problem is that many women fear that the seemingly most attractive woman will have the ability to take her man. Check out the surroundings brouhaha Angelina Jolie and Brad Pitt when they separated … it seems like it was all Angelina Jolie’s fault, but is it really her fault?
Or was it just opportunistic, and could it be, because the bond between Aniston and Pitt wasn’t great to begin with? Maybe they weren’t that loyal in the end?
It is easy for women to look at another woman and think that her beauty, status and charming disposition are a threat.
Then jealousy occurs… ..Control behavior emerges… ..and worse still; women begin to cause themselves suffering and pain.
Regardless of whether or not someone like Angelina Jolie or the beautiful girl next door has bad intentions with your husband or boyfriend, a successful, passionate relationship will thrive and stay strong despite external threats.
After all, stealthy mates are the constant in this world – you can’t control them more than you can control your own husband.
They will always exist because people who have already successfully communicated their value, attracted a couple are already married or married.
This leaves the remaining people two options: choose from the group of remaining companions (who may carry more luggage or have a lower partner value).
Either unconsciously or consciously try to increase your mating success with someone who is already trapped.
Valuable women and men will always be looked at, desired and even conspired by admirers. Remember it is a constant. You can’t control that.
With David Buss says:
“Fellow poachers will always be ready to launch. The pleasures of sexual temptation come here and now. The costs of infidelity lie in the distant and uncertain future. But perhaps a more intense awareness of the logic of the value of the couple will give us the tools to reduce the most sinister products of mating wars. “
Here I now interpret the last line of what it says: we must be aware that couple value is something, it exists, and we must respect it and always seek to increase our own value.
In other words, we look to focus on who we are can control.
Isn’t the responsibility on your husband, rather than “The Other Woman”?
I understand that another woman does not respect your position as a girlfriend or woman is disappointing.
And yes, many women are in a hurry to see if they can steal a man from a woman, and that’s not right. I’m not making this behavior right.
Ultimately, however, it is about the quality of your marriage or relationship, as well as the quality of your character and the quality of the man you have chosen.
It is their decision to value the relationship. It is their perception and values that matter in this situation.
As soon as you blame the other woman, not only that no elegant, it completely strips you of yours power as a woman. (Power to learn and grow and do the best for your relationship).
If you blame a third party for something that is ultimately your own responsibility ((your relationship)), then all hope is gone.
You they are supposed to have power in a relationship, not a third party. A woman who knows the power of femininity he knows that.
The other women just aren’t threats and it shouldn’t be in a loving, passionate relationship where there’s already a lot of attraction.
Ultimately, if we choose to see other people as a threat to our special relationship, we cannot be empowered. There is nothing we can do about it, and we will end up disappointed.
Click here to take the quiz on “Am I dating a man friendly with commitment?”
CLICK HERE TO LEARN the only specific emotional trigger of every male man that inspires him to want to care for you, adore you, and commit deeply to you.
Know who you are in a relationship with!
Clue: Know who you are in a relationship with. Don’t get into a relationship with someone you know who doesn’t value their relationship as a top priority.
Do not accept the abusive or adulterous behavior of a narcissist, and do not voluntarily risk your valuable youth, time, energy, and emotional health in a man who shows all red flags.
By the way, I just released my new show titled “Becoming His One & Only!” …Click HERE for more details and how you can get your man to fall more in love with you and ask you to be his only one.
Do you think the notion of a house demolition is an obsolete idea?
Renee is the founder of The Feminine Woman and co-founder of Shen Wade Media, where we teach women to show themselves as a woman of great value who easily inspires a deep sense of emotional commitment from her chosen man. Together with her husband D. Shen on the blog Commitment Triggers, they have positively influenced the lives of more than 15 million women through their free articles and videos, as well as ten thousand through paid programs through the Shen Wade Media platform.
Connect more deeply with your work through the following social media links.
Sometimes we include links to online retail stores. If you click on one and make a purchase we may receive a small commission.