After more than 25 years working with singles as a dating coach, help them navigate online dating, from writing dating profiles to teaching effective messaging techniques, hey, I’ve seen weird stuff, humor, and everything in between!
How do I know that? With my clients, for the first month, I actually log on to their dating site / app with them to identify high potential dating and teach them a quick and effective technique for quickly finding what they are looking for. Most clients think that I save them 70 to 80% of their time doing research with my proven strategy.
Here we go with the dating errors:
1. Your profile has no information.
They have done the minimum work: just ticking boxes such as concerts, travel, gastronomy. (Who doesn’t like to eat and travel?). Writing an online dating profile is crucial! But they don’t have skin in the game when they don’t write at least one paragraph or respond to directions to get a little bit of their personality!
2. The profile reads like a novel.
This is over-sharing. TMI. Let real-life dating unblock your life experiences and thoughts. A man took us through 5 paragraphs of his journey to meditation / self-awareness. Maybe I should write a book, but it’s not appropriate for an online dating profile. We skipped a paragraph before tapping “Block”.
3. “I can’t believe I’m doing this.”
Yes, people start profiles with this line. Well, you’re online. This line conveys insecurity and arrogance. Your marketing has just plummeted.
4. Generic language.
This can work wildly online – I’m fun, happy, positive, and I love to travel. While we don’t want to hear your whole life story in 2 paragraphs, not using very descriptive words will be a once sliding left or erasing it quickly.
5. A photo.
Absolutely suspicious. I say no more.
6. Poor quality photos or “postcards”.
Stop using selfies, photos of yourself in the bathroom mirror, (why?) In the car, blurry photos, holding a big fish, (your only photo !!) big group photos — (what are you?), LinkedIn posted photos. How many times have I seen photos of the Northern Lights, the Taj Mahal, the canals of Venice, without anyone in the picture! We understand: you’ve been there, but where are you?
7. Using old photos
That means more than 2 years ago, lying about age, height, weight.
Hey, your date will find out in the first minute of your date and get angry; rightly so.
8. Sending hearts / likes, etc.
One of the main complaints of both sexes online. Suggests passivity or low interest. How do you feel when you receive a like without a message? Probably neutral: the ball is now in your court to send a message or, worse, to return it. Tie score. Neither of them made any progress on this first date in real life!
9. Thinking too much about your answer.
Be you! They do not need formal answers; they rarely receive an answer. Too rigid. For example: “I see that you like diving and Italy, where have you been certified and where do you like to go to Italy?” It’s boring, all about them, nothing about you, and it has no personality! Sounds like an interview question. I have a client who used to delete answers that took 15 minutes and used a 5 syllable vocabulary – I couldn’t break his habit until he baptized 0 for 20 answers sent!
10. Bad grammar / spelling.
This is a first impression. Use the right English! You can be more casual after the first two posts and use emojis and lol’s!
Stay tuned for my next article on Ten Online Tips for Fantastic Real Life Dating! First I had to share the mistakes with you; then we’ll move on to the fun part! As an online dating coach, I know these tips work as I see my clients meet great people online every day. To find out how to do this effectively and not feel that online dating is a rock or a second job, Click here!
With over 5,000 marriages and 60% of my clients are dating someone they really like; I know this works!
Love and laughter
Andrea McGinty, coach and dating consultant
Featured on Oprah, Today Show, NYT, WSJ, Forbes and People
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