News – The “perfect man” it does not exist. Or are you too demanding?
Interestingly, over the last few years, I’ve come to know which women want in a man.
Or more specifically, what they to think they fly in a man.
I’ve heard from countless clients and friends who their ideal man is, and their checklists have one thing in common: they are too demanding!
All these conversations have made it clear to me that the more work up the archetype is, the more difficult it will be for a woman to find a real life boy.
In short, your “perfect man” will ruin your life as a couple.
“What do you know about what women want, Carlos?” you may be wondering. “All women have the right to have rules!”
And me totally agree with you. Women it should they have standards for the men they meet.
It’s just that the concept of Perfect Guy has nothing to do with having standards.
Ghosts of past partners
Lynn, a friend of mine, recently told me about the boy she was dreaming of marrying: “After my previous relationship, flexibility choose your work schedule ”.
Then he continued: “I think in a relationship it’s important that the people involved are there for each other. So if my boyfriend is it is not an architect, writer, photographer, entrepreneur or have some other flexible occupation, this is a red light for me.”
And that, to me, was the crux of the matter. The perfect man in Lynn’s mind was actually a personification of her frustrations from past.
She, and many other women I know, have subconsciously created her “perfect boy checklist” from previous relationships.
Like any experience, it’s important to learn from what happened so you can avoid making the same mistakes. However, this is not the same as projecting your locks in a future relationship.
I had the feeling that Lynn had dated a guy who was addicted to work. It probably meant that they didn’t spend as much time together as she wanted, or that her career got too much in the way.
So I’m watching a lot of these women painting in complex set of requirements about what is essentially a unicorn in the world of dating.
Worst of all, this kind of criteria often comes from a site of anger and resentment. And that’s why Lynn would have no guarantee of long-term happiness, even if she found a guy who matched her ideal archetype.
Meet someone who fits your perfect man checklist on T it is not a magic antidote this will cause your passengers to disappear.
Deal with your deal breakers
Like I said, having standards is fine. In fact, you should filter guys who are abusive, dishonest and otherwise unfit for a relationship.
What’s wrong is if you’re inadvertently moving away from someone wonderful just because you don’t live up to a guy who doesn’t exist.
There will be no amount of unrealistic and non-essential requirements protect yourself from unpredictability of appointments. One customer told me that his perfect guy “should be 6” 6, watch Game of Thrones, drive a VW and have a mixed breed German Shepherd / Labrador “.
“Ohhhkaay,” I said. “Do you really need ALL of these qualities to be happy with a guy? It wouldn’t hurt to let some of these things slip.”
There is no real benefit to immediately rejecting a guy based on superficial things that are not a real basis for a healthy relationship anyway.
So my advice to you is to open up your world and get out of yours comfort zone. As long as you don’t feel like dating a guy it’s going against you fundamental moral principlesthey have the courage to take that risk.
And if you want a guy to fall in love with you, you should start learning about his only one Connection style. Once you have created this powerful and lasting connection (which is surprisingly easy), you will be perfect for each other, even if he is not the perfect gentleman.
Check out how to do it now.
Yours in perfect passion …
– Carlos Cavallo
UPDATED ON 9/27/2021
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