Today’s reader asks what to do if he sees someone else.
And my answer may surprise you.
I happened to see a boy, then me she became pregnant. He stopped seeing the other girl he was talking about most seriously and was there for me 100%, but he never committed to me.
He told me he would always be there for me and that he was really attracted to me, but I wanted to be sure we would work Yes we should never pursue anything.
I kept pushing him away explaining how we were and if he was still about to commit to me. But we were stuck in a cycle to do good, then I freaked out.
So I decided that what I really needed to do was learn how to do it right Live the Moment and just enjoy where we were and hope this gives us a good chance. So I did and we really had two great months in which we have behaved so well.
He treated me the way I would like to be treated if I was a girl. We spent a lot of time together and had fun and we were even physical. No strangers anywhere!
But the other day he informed me that a girl, with whom he had spent time and I knew he had some feelings, had asked him out and he said yes. Has completely he threw me.
We were doing very well I do not understand. He says he just wants to explore the feelings he has, as he is confused and has feelings for both of them.
How do I play? He yet she wants to hang out and spend time with me and our daughter (and with me on my own). He says that any girl he goes out with will have to be okay that we are close and I will always be more important.
I really want to go back and try anything. But I don’t know if to hang out with him and stay in that great place we’ve been, like me TO KNOW this dating relationship with the other girl will not last.
Or if I should reverse gear and give it space… Don’t let me spend time with you for a while, which has been really stressful!
Please help! I really want to be a family.
CARLOS CAVALLO ANSWERS:
The easiest thing is to tell you what to do … Put it on waiting with him and tell him he is alone until he is uncovered what he is doing.
It’s harder to explain why it’s the best way.
In fact, you probably won’t understand why until much later. Having shown if she really is there, or just trying to grab her cake and eat it too.
You have to cut it … cold turkey. Men have this built-in respect mechanism where they respect women who don’t need them, especially when they have the balls that EL doesn’t have to pull the plug.
You said, “I really want to go back and I’ll try anything.”
He knows it by your attitude, and that’s what he tells you he can yet have your little harem up and running and not compromise. He is no a bad one, necessarily.
It’s like an 8-year-old boy: he pushes his limits and sees how he can get away with it.
(And don’t feel too superior: women do what they do when they’re 12 years old test of a boy limits for how much shit it will carry, too.
Send it packaging at the moment. You can still choose to introduce yourself and be a father (i Real man) for her daughter meanwhile. But that doesn’t mean you expect him to stop playing your games.
A lesson in respect and integrity must be taught to YOU!
If you want to know how to make sure you realize that you are all you can wish for, click here
Yours, in Perfect Passion,
– Carlos Cavallo
UPDATED ON 9/27/2021
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