If you find yourself constantly making the same mistakes when dating, it may be time to look at the habits you have fallen into and see if there is anything you might be doing differently. These are just some of the goal setting shareware that you can use.
Paying attention to small details
It’s very easy to create an image of your perfect partner in your mind and then feel disappointed when the people you know inevitably don’t match. Leave your list of things you think you want at home and be curious about who your date is, rather than who you want them to be.
Make appointments with unavailable people
If someone is on a dating site, expect them to be available, right? In theory, yes, but there are many ways not to be available. For example, if someone has recently left a relationship and is still pending their ex, they will not be available. Instead of believing that you can rescue them from their sadness, step back and give them time to overcome it. Then, find someone who is really ready for a relationship.
Getting too serious right away
Good and solid relationships take time to develop, so if you’re moving from having a date to practically living together in a couple of weeks, things are moving too fast and won’t last long. Slow down, keep your own space, and give your relationship a chance to grow naturally.
Ignoring the red flags
A red flag is something that means you are fundamentally incompatible, no matter how much you want to, for example someone who does not want to have children when you do. While it may seem like it doesn’t matter when you start dating, it will end up breaking your heart, so you know how to recognize the red flags and act on them before things go too far.
Waiting for an immediate spark
Before a date, you’ll probably feel a tingle of anticipation, which may go away when you meet them in real life. But don’t let this discourage you because there will often be no immediate and exciting spark. If you have fun with someone, that’s enough. Look at them again and see if your feelings grow.
Falling into a relationship you don’t really want
On the other hand, you don’t want to spend so much time waiting for the spark you end up dating for so long that you see a year go by and you’re in a relationship where you don’t like it so much. It’s important to give people a chance, but you also need to check your own feelings and see if you really want to have a relationship with that person.
Don’t be honest
Dating works best when you’re honest with both yourself and your date. Explaining falsehoods about yourself at first can get you in trouble later, as can showing that you’re interested in someone when you’re not 100% sure. Be honest, but kind, and things will get better.
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