Seduction Techniques | The definitive guide (updated in 2022)

Written by men’s dating coach Gary Gunn, founder of Social Attraction

In this article, you will learn seduction techniques that you can use to seduce women. I will teach you the best seduction techniques I have been training for over a decade in my confidence courses in Social Attraction.

If you do not use seduction techniques, the following will happen:

  • In your next conversation with an attractive woman, you will look desperate.
  • When you send messages to a girl, it will take many years to respond and you will feel frustrated.
  • When you try to have sex with an attractive woman, you will be rejected.

No one should feel so inadequate in their dating life – it’s wrong.

We can help you do just that by taking one of our Social Attraction courses. You’ll find a link at the bottom of this article to schedule a free 30-minute consultation call with me. We’ll find out which of our courses is right for you to transform your confidence in on-call appointments.

You can also see the real transformations of our customers here: reviews of social attraction courses

Dating seduction

Here are my favorite seduction dates:

“It is not enough to conquer; you have to learn to seduce ”. Voltaire

I guess romantic love was invented as a brilliant means of seduction. Sigmund Freud

“It’s your job in life that is the ultimate seduction.” Pablo Picasso

Seduction techniques female psychology

To understand female psychology enough to seduce women, we must first understand the difference between attraction and seduction.

Attraction is when you are in the physical presence of a girl.

Seduction is when a girl thinks of you when you are no longer together.

Psychology of attraction

To understand the psychology of attraction, let’s look at a common scenario for single men:

You are at night with a girl you like. Talk to each other and even exchange details. However, when you send her a text message the next day, she does not respond.

The reason for this is because you were attractive to her at the time, but you did not seduce her.

Psychology of seduction

We now turn to the psychology of seduction using other common examples:

You are training a lot in the gym, making music in public or taking care of a nice dog. Suddenly, a girl appears and you exchange details, and she sends you first.

You have seduced this girl because she has been thinking of you since you left the interaction.

Real life seductions

I remember teaching this principle to a 38-year-old customer two years ago who owns a dog walking company. He employed staff who normally walked dogs around him. When he realized the true meaning of seduction, he chose to grab the cute puppies and train them in crowded areas where he knew women would walk around the park.

I explained to him that the more professional he appeared in his job, the more women appeared. Every day he had one or two women approaching and exchanging details with him. In essence, he was seducing women while they were paid to work!

Another example is a 45-year-old client I trained about three years ago, a wedding singer in Marbella. As you can imagine, it was the main attraction of the wedding, but he never got any dates as he was always working and never found time to talk to women.

Unusual situation because he was seducing women with his voice and yet he had no opportunity to exchange details. So I redesigned it with a 40’s Frank Sinatra look, with a Fedora hat. Then I got him to put the hat on the girl by giving her the okay signs when she sang. Then the girl would have to look for him later to return the hat: bingo!

To learn more about the power of seduction, I created the following infographic to show you the seductive male archetypes. You should also read my featured article on how to seduce women.

The 5 male archetypes that seduce women

Seductive language

The most effective secret seduction technique is to use seductive phrases with women.

Seductive phrases are small expressions that we can use during our conversations with women to influence their thinking.

Before going any further, it is essential to understand the difference between influence and persuasion for ethical reasons.


Persuasion is the act of persuading someone to act in a certain way.

That means if a girl doesn’t want to come on a date with us, we fall into the pattern of trying to persuade her to join.

Persuasion for me means entering into a mentality of scarcity, despair and effort with women.


Influence is when we have the power to affect people or things.

This means that we use the power of influence when we ask a girl to join us on a date.

Influencing me means staying in an abundant, carefree, and safe mindset with women.

Influential phrases

Here are three influential phrases you can add to your vocabulary:

  • “Have you ever…”
  • “What is it like when …”
  • “If we had to …”

They are powerful because they influence the listener to imagine, imagine, or recall a particular memory, feeling, or emotion.

Seductive phrases

Here are three examples of how to model these sentences into seductive sentences:

  • “Have you ever kissed someone in minutes?”
  • “What is it like when you like someone and want to be around them?”
  • “If we had to be adventurous right now, what could we do?”

As you read these examples, you would have imagined something specific in your mind: I influenced your thoughts.

Seductive narration

For the past three months I have been teaching these principles to a 39 year old customer on Skype. One of her dating aspirations is to be able to create a sexual vibe with women.

The first step in this process is to understand the 12 steps to intimacy with women.

I’ve created the following infographic to help you understand sexual tension and seductive stories. I also recommend reading my article on creating sexual tension with women, where I cover the steps to intimacy in detail.

Five different techniques to seduce women

The best seduction techniques

The best seduction technique is to use a strategy called intermittent texting.

Intermittent text messages are when you set the time during the day to send and reply to women’s messages.

For example, you set hours for:

  • 12:00 to 13:00 h
  • 8:00 a.m. to 9:00 p.m.

During these two-hour zones, you can send as many messages as you like. However, as soon as the hour is over, stop sending text messages.

Seductive text messaging strategy

Intermittent texting is a great seductive technique because:

  • Women will think of you in your text messages
  • Set a healthy limit that is attractive and magnetic for women
  • If you send him a message at night, he will think of you until morning

In my experience, we tend to want to send text messages to women we like too much, so let intermittent texting and silence seduce women to you.

Below is my text message infographic guide for a snapshot of the best text messaging strategies. You can also read my article on texting women for more information.

The Eleven Best Techniques to Seduce Women with Text Messages

Powerful seduction techniques

The most powerful seduction technique is to set firm boundaries with women.

The more boundaries you set, the more you will communicate that you are a confident man with your life in order.

The antiseptic

Here’s an example of a man who can’t seduce women:

  • It’s okay for a girl to come back with him for an hour for a date
  • Pay for all the drinks and food in one appointment
  • He replies to all your messages in ten minutes

As you can see, there are no limits here, so there is no reason for a woman to feel seduced.

The seducer

Here is an example of a man who seduces women:

  • It gives women an hour for an appointment with a deadline to be confirmed
  • The food and drink bill is split
  • Respond to women’s messages when they have time

When you set these boundaries with women, they will be thinking about why you have such strong boundaries when you are not in their presence. There is a certain mystery about you and how you spend your time. This is also known as seduction!

I can teach you modern seduction techniques, some of which we’ve covered in this article. For more information, visit our Transformational Confidence Courses page.


  • Understand that attraction is in the moment, and seduction is when a girl thinks of you when you are no longer there.
  • Add seductive phrases to your vocabulary. “Sometimes, what is like when, andif you had to … ” These allow you to influence a woman’s thoughts.
  • Use intermittent text messages. This is where you send text messages to women during set hours of your day and do not text them outside of those hours.
  • When arranging a date: “I’m busy on these two dates, I’m free right now, but let me know tomorrow at noon, as if I had no other plans.“This is a very seductive behavior that would only make someone confident.

Your path to successful dating

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