Phone sex: Chloe dating tips

Have you been trapped in your house for a month? Are you starting to feel desperate for some stimulation? Cap stimulation? Do you get too excited when the shower curtain hits you? Yes me too. There’s a global pandemic, social distancing is important for everyone’s safety … but man, oh man, I’m excited. The solution: telephone sex. Until recently, I hadn’t had sex on the phone since I was a teenager whispering awkwardly to my then-boyfriend about how he thought his “thing” was “very pretty” … yes, I know. It was awful, I didn’t get down, he hardly we went down, and we were both quite impressed with the whole experience. As an adult, a few boyfriends have suggested it, but it’s never been mine. I love sex, I love conversation … but combining the two has never been a comfortable experience for me, until now. Last week I hired someone on Reddit to teach me how to master the art of phone deboning! It made me feel confident, on fire, and excited to put my new skills into practice. Luckily for you, I took a lot of notes. We talk about sex over the phone.

Phone sex is so … vulnerable. When you have sex with a person, you are creating the experience together. If you try something they don’t respond to, switch to something else. You have access to their body language, the way they respond to your touch and vocalizations. Your responsiveness dictates your actions. The two of you (or three … or four … I don’t know your life) are working together to create something amazing. With phone sex, you lose almost all of these signals. All you have are the voices of others. If I start describing my fantasy of being fucked against the Mark Twain section of my college library, and my partner sounds less than excited, I’ll mortify myself. The leap of faith needed to talk about your desires to someone else is huge… Or so I felt, until the day I decided to take up the subject with my own hands. I went to Reddit, the land of infinite possibilities, and sent a message to someone who seemed to be quite adept at the art of phoning (see what I did there?) On the Phone Sex subreddit.

So far we’ve had three lessons, and I’ve learned a lot. Let’s review the things that were most useful to me:

  1. The importance of phrasing: The difference between “I want to put your cock in your mouth” and “I want to wrap my lips around your cock and savor your taste” is huge. There’s a big difference between “I want to fall on you” and “I want to gently lick your clit and then devour your pussy like it’s my last meal.”

  2. Yes and: The most useful tool that my mobile quarry taught me was the concept of “yes, and …”. It is an improvisational tool and will make sex on the phone much MUCH. The biggest struggle I had was trying to think of something sexy to say at the time. The second problem was how to respond to the things my partner was saying. I learned to solve both by reflecting on what my partner had just said and then adding to it. For example, if he said, “Do you want me to put your cock in your mouth?” my response might be, “I want to feel your cock pushing me against the back of my throat while you play with my pussy.” Whereas before my lessons, my response would have been, “Yeah, I really want to.” It’s boring and doesn’t really return anything to your partner. In this way, we are creating our experience together. We’re showing ourselves where we’d like this to go, which gives us both the ability to adjust accordingly.

  3. Enjoy: It is important to relax and enjoy. If you feel a little anxious, it will help to encourage you before the call through some text messages, photo exchanges or encouragement. When you are on, the desire will be evident in your voice, which will activate your partner. Be vocal. Let him know that you are excited by vocalizing your pleasure with words or moans. That was a big one for me. I would be so stressed out trying to think about what to say, that I would stop touching myself and start treating it like a job instead of something that is supposed to feel good.

  4. Make it simple: At first, keep it simple. As you begin to gain more confidence, feel free to be creative, but don’t play any role-playing or twisting games unless you’ve both talked about it first.

  5. Use technology to your advantage: Swap photos (please don’t give naked photos to people you don’t trust, or NEVER nudge ANYONE with your face. Security first guys), use video chat, or send video clips audio before to create them. up to each other. It will increase the quality of the experience and reduce the pressure of trying to create a narrative solely from verbalization. It’s basically porn created just for you; what’s better than that

Stay out of your head, relax and enjoy the experience. You don’t have to create the narrative on your own; create one together. Give yourself a lot of opportunities to contribute to the fantasy you’re both doing and keep up the flow (literally). It’s not as scary as it sounds, I promise, and the practice is perfect. I used to be terrified phone sex, but after a bit of practice I feel very satisfied with myself … and by the sounds on the other end of the phone I’m pretty sure my partner is also happy with me.

If you would like help with online dating during a time of social distancing, connect with a woman you are interested in, or get a gift card for a friend, contact me! Take a look at my testimonials while you do it;)

Hello,

Chloe

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