Ohhhkkk, considering that 1 in 3 singles got married in 2020 from online dating according to mega research firm Pew, you get a 1 in 3 chance, right?
Mal. That doesn’t make sense.
Here’s the thing: I can usually have a 10-minute chat with a potential client that I’m thinking of taking on and acting as their dating coach, dating advisor, dating expert, and having a good idea of this conversation about their probabilities.
Clairvoyance? Certainly not!
And because I like to keep my baptism average high, I’ve been doing this for over 25 years, there are some critical issues that I consider successful or not. I have it
I’ve had 4 engagements in the last 10 days with my clients, and over 60% right now are in long term relationships.
Serendipity? Luck? Maybe a little small. 2%?
The other 98% comes from other factors.
So we increase your chances:
1. Attitude. That’s right- this is not the right app, amazing photo, profile, etc. which decides me when hiring a new client. As a dating advisor, I clearly understand that if you’ve been online unsuccessfully, it’s clear that there is frustration and exhaustion. If you’ve never done it, maybe fear or the unknown. But you didn’t sign up for a 4.0 tennis league the first time you grabbed a racket in your hand. (Or the 2nd, 3rd or 4th time!). You took classes. You listened to a professional.
Attitude to me means an open mind, a willingness to try it with a smile and the ability to listen to advice. This will increase your chances astronomically.
2. Friends. While friends are of course very important, they are NOT your friends when it comes to increasing your online odds. They are not experts. Is your constantly dated friend with horror stories a dating expert? Or, is your friend who got married through Match a dating magician and now your mind, heart and soul are fixed on the thought that Match will be your magic place?
Example: Last week I was chatting with a 54-year-old Silicon Valley man, a Google executive, who told me he only wanted to use CMB. (Coffee Meets Bagel). Curious how it occurred to him, he told me that his friend from New York swore by this app. The problem here was that CMB is strong in New York, but it doesn’t have numbers / members in its area, and it doesn’t move!
3. Photos. Pictures. Pictures. Maybe I should have listed this at the top, but first I have to go with attitude. If you’re already my client, you know how crazy I am for you to have amazing photos. To be clear, that doesn’t mean thousands of dollars in studio photos !!! Photos uber Photoshop.
Before my first Zoom call with a new client, I ask them to send me so many photos from the last 3 years that they consider excellent. I have a client in Rosemary Beach who surprised me with her photos: a 50 year old man with fun and adventurous photos his 16 year old son had done doing various water sports! Her passion is water, and her cheerful, silly, smiling photos attracted crowds of women. No, I didn’t need professional photos; as time went on, almost all potential dating commented on her photos and her smile. Your odds? High. Yeah Al that sounds pretty crap to me, Looks like BT aint for me either. In my business, it’s a good thing to lose customers!
On the other hand, it is an anomaly. Most of the photos I get look like a LinkedIn photo (eh, you’re not looking for a job), or are of poor quality / resolution, old and not what I’m looking for, which is marketing shit. of you! Online photos are Marketing 101: We live in a hyper-visual society and big photos are crucial. I use photographers from all over the US to take pictures of my clients. One of my favorite photographers is in New York and walking with my clients for 3 hours taking unique outdoor photos, calling a taxi, throwing a snowball, on the steps of the Met, drinking coffee in a crowded cafeteria.
This is a little video about photos!
Do you need a professional photographer now? No. I’ve had teenagers take great pictures of me from their mom, aunt, and cousin. They grew up taking pictures every day, and they make some fun angles, and they are certainly not boring photos!
Email me at andrea@33000Dates.com for my online photo guidelines. This is a time saver.
Odds with great photos? High.
4. The right application / place. Crucial.
Yes, you may be tempted to try different sites / applications, but I find this method can be discouraging quickly! While Tinder is the largest dating app in the world (Match owns it), if you’re not into the sweet spot in terms of age, demographics, and geography, chances are incredibly low. One question customers often ask me after Zoom calls me is “How do you choose the right place for me”? It is a combination of
a. Doing this for over 25 years and getting to know my clients’ places, successes, stories and anecdotal evidence
b. In addition, I paid for a monthly survey that gives me a lot of information about application / site growth, sweet spot in terms of age, strengths in geographic areas, and other demographics.
Odds with the right place? Well.
Love, laughter and dating,
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