Feeling the pressure? After talking to dozens of customers about their dates this week, I kept track. More than 50% talked about Valentine’s Day and whether they had an appointment or not … So let’s address this issue directly and diplomatically. (Okay, one of my clients used these words about me this week … I think that’s a good thing for a dating coach, right?)
As I write this, Queen and David Bowie are playing in the background with Under Pressure, these lyrics resonated with me (one of my favorite workout songs):
Why can’t we give love another chance?
Why can’t we give love, give love, give love, give love
Because love is such an old word
And love dares you to take care of the people of the
At nightfall, and love dares you
Change the way we take care of ourselves
This is our last dance
This is our last dance ….
That is ourselves
No, VD is not your last dance. This is not your last chance. And ahh, unfortunately it can generate pressure and anxiety for adult dating.
Valentine’s Day Online Dating Tips:
1. A few years ago, I did a media tour in New York where I did 12 Talk Shows ranging from Good Morning, America to Fox to local market news talking about this exact topic. And it wasn’t a loving posture that I took. It is an invented holiday and it puts absolute pressure on singles. Pew Research found that 62% of singles feared the day. Why let the media put pressure on you?
2. Think about what you really want. Is it a Valentine’s Day date? Do you really want VD to be your first or second date? Do you want a fixed price menu with ridiculous prices and the teacher giving each woman a red rose? Ugh, run. (And look what I do to make a living — I love that people find love — so I dedicate myself to happiness and meeting someone special). Of course, you can connect to the Internet, hey, 48 hours left, and you’ll probably still find a date. But what is your final game?
3. Or is it a long-term relationship you are looking for? Every time my clients raised VD this week, that was my question. The answer: a long-term relationship. Some felt pressured to listen to the plans of married friends or to think of happy past with their widowed or divorced spouses.
4. If what you are looking for is LTR (long term relationship), I challenge you to be open-minded and approach it as you would with a business challenge. Have a goal. A good strategy would be to meet someone special before May 1st. Is it feasible? Absolutely. So instead of focusing on a short-term goal, you now have a long-term goal that really gets you what you want: not dating without direction, but a solid relationship with someone special that you fully enjoy traveling , events, Netflix nights, summer. , holidays and only day to day.
5. Strategy. You need one. After browsing all aspects of online dating with my clients for over 25 years, a good dating coach can help you reduce that search to a fraction of what it would be like to do it alone. Let’s make May 1st your goal. I can help you. Why go alone? Having an objective professional increases the odds exponentially.
How do you get there? Not talking to your single friends about their online dating experiences (eh, they’re still single, right?), But setting goals and keeping track. Being on the right dating site / app for your age, demos and geographies. Having great recent photos that WE ARE YOU! A fun profile. Positive messaging skills. An attitude of being able to do. Self-confidence and a positive attitude will reduce the pressure of dating and make it fun.
As Queen and the great David Bowie sang Why can’t we give love another chance?
Have a great weekend and start your plan on Monday!
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