September 9th My friend keeps leaving me for her boyfriend
in Tips for Women
So you and your friend were beasts. You did it all together. You went on vacation together, went out to dinner together, planned nights together, and even spent the holidays together.
Then, all of a sudden, your friend gets engaged and leaves you to do everything with him. Suddenly the texts become less frequent, she takes ages to respond and no longer has time for you. When it’s found, it takes you to the things you’ve planned together, making you feel like a third wheel.
When your friend has a boyfriend and you’re still single, it can be difficult, but it’s even more so if your friend clings too tightly to the people he’s dating.
While it’s normal for a friendship to change slightly when one of you has a boyfriend, it’s not normal for your friend to start lying, withholding information, and abandoning plans.
It’s one thing for your friend to want to spend time alone with her boyfriend, but it’s not okay if she starts to have zero consideration for your feelings. Unfortunately, some girls are like that. They disappear as soon as they meet a boy, and then resurface when things go wrong. For a while the consoles, go to the dance floor with them, make women’s pajamas and plan trips to help them get over it. Then, suddenly, they start acting weird and leave you again because they have announced that they are back with their ex.
Not only does it hurt to be single and your friend rubs you in the face with a boyfriend, but it also hurts to feel like you’re the security plan in case the plans don’t come with the boyfriend.
If you find that your friend is starting to be blatant about making plans with you, or about canceling and giving up fabricated excuses, it’s time to talk to her and she’s bothering you. If you feel despised, it is important that you speak up.
What to say if your friend continues to abandon you for her boyfriend
It’s important to try to have these conversations when you’re sober and both relaxed. Definitely don’t do it after a night without drinking or when the tension is high.
In person, tell him how you feel. Try not to make accusations, start your sentences with “I’m sorry”. Describe your feelings and then indicate what action you took to make them feel that way. For example, if you had plans to go to dinner but she said “let’s check the rain” because she has tons of work to do, but then you learn that it’s because she really wanted to go see her boyfriend after school. work, tell him. how it made you feel. Tell him you felt disrespected for this action.
Try to keep him on the action and don’t rush to see how much you don’t like your new boyfriend, even if you don’t really support him. If you go down this path, she’s likely to get defensive and stand up even more to her boyfriend. Focus on the actions that made you feel abandoned, not your boyfriend.
After telling her how you feel, tell her that you understand her perspective. Tell her that you realize she’s excited about having a new boyfriend, but that it’s important to keep your balance and have time for friends and other things. Suggest some solutions for friendship in the future.
For example, if she keeps lying to you when it comes to making plans, tell her that you would be grateful if she was honest. Tell him you’d rather he tell you he has plans with his boyfriend than be indecisive and hang you.
It’s scary and awkward to have this kind of conversation, but sometimes the air needs to be cleared. Don’t become hostile or preface the “we need to talk” conversation. Try to keep the conversation going when you are in a good mood and speak in a calm, friendly tone. Don’t treat her like an enemy and try to stick to the facts.
If your friend continues to abandon plans and doesn’t make any changes after the conversation, it may be time to step back, distance yourself from the situation, and make new friends. While it’s a pity that a guy can pass between a friendship, it’s not worth trying to maintain a friendship if it constantly makes you feel used to it or as a later idea. There are many ways to make friends, from starting new hobbies to attending networking events.
Sometimes people have to learn that you’re not always waiting for them. If they decide to neglect their friendships in favor of a boyfriend, they should not be surprised if the friendships soon fail.
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