Find out how to understand men and their mixed signals which can be confusing. Send text messages, cancel, prepare dinner, what does all this mean?
What do your mixed signals mean?
“Hello, Ronnie Love and Dating Coach for Women,
I need help understanding men. Two months ago I was in another town on business. When I arrived at my hotel that night, a guy I went to high school with had sent me a message on Facebook telling me that he thought he had seen me in his hometown and that he had been there? I said yes. We exchanged a few short messages, then he asked me for dinner. I told him I would leave town the next day. He said he would warn her next time he was in town and that we could “eat a bite.”
Three weeks later I let him know that I would be in town the next day. He said that unfortunately he was busy and that he could not do it. But when I got to town the next day, he texted me and asked me to have lunch. We met for an hour. We haven’t seen each other in 20 years. He has 40. I have 39.
He made no plans for the future
We left lunch with no plans for the future. I was a little confused about whether it was a date or not. A few hours later I sent him a text message telling him that it was great to see him. He said he loved to chat and “we’ll do it again sometime.” Honestly, I don’t understand men.
So a few weeks later I let him know that he would be in town in a few days and I asked him if he wanted to meet. He invited me to dinner at his house. He’s a trustworthy guy, so I agreed. I still didn’t know if it was a date.
The night before he called to cancel because he had to work. But he said we had to meet next time he was in town. I wondered if this was a way of deciding that I didn’t like it.
Did I give him one more time, texting him the other day that he would be back in town and let me give him away for dinner? He agreed, but today he texted me and asked if it was okay for me to prepare dinner at his house.
I can’t figure this out. Is this guy trying to chase me or is it just a friend who greets a friend when I’m out of town on business? I’m totally into it. He is a very supportive and kind person. I want you to like me. I don’t know if I like it as a date or as a friend.
Ronnie, please advise me what to do!
Wanting it ”
It helps with your mixed signals
Dear to you,
As a dating expert, this is what I understand from men. When a man prepares dinner for you, in his mind, sex with you is for dessert. This happened to me more than once when I was dating. And I keep seeing it with many of my clients.
Making dinner isn’t a matter of friendship, but it’s not a relationship either. Do not dine at his house unless you plan to sleep with him. Even though you know him, I recommend that you hold meetings in public, so that you don’t end up with a broken heart.
As a love and dating coach for 20 years, I have observed a lot of masculine behaviors to understand men and their mixed signals, games, and nuances.
Unfortunately, you’ve put yourself in a difficult position to continue communicating first, notifying him when you’re in town. In a relationship where a man is really interested, you shouldn’t do that.
My best dating tip is that your high school friend is hoping for good luck.
5 ideas about your true intentions
1. If he kept in touch between visits, he would know when you were coming to the city and he could chase you. Because he is not doing this, he is NOT chasing you. In fact, you’re doing his job for him by texting and sealing dates.
2. Cancellation of plans sometimes occurs. But he may be seeing other women, which causes him to cancel. His excuses about work might be true, but I doubt it. It’s so typical of the excuses I hear.
3. Another clue that doesn’t haunt you is how after leaving you with the vague closing, “We’ll do it again someday.” This is not the sign of a man chasing you. To be clear about how to understand men, an interested boy would say, “Let’s do it again; when will you return to the city? “
4. Preferring to have dinner in place does more to make sure it can make a move with you than anything else. It is a proven strategy for men to bring a woman to bed. If you are willing to go home, this gives you the impression that you can handle the rest.
5. Text messaging and Facebook are complementary methods of communication, not the main choice of a man with a genuine interest. And you’re not trying to reconnect and find out who you are now. So even though it looks like it’s sending mixed signals, you now have a good idea of how to understand men.
Here is more information about men who are inconsistent in their search.
When a guy confuses you, that tells you something right there
That’s why you feel like you’re sending mixed signals. He’s not clear because he knows you want more than he’s willing to give. But he can’t say it, as he has his own agenda (waiting to jump in the sack with you).
However, he is not making any effort to win you over. That’s why you can’t tell if it’s a date or a friendship. And it’s also a sign that you don’t take yourself seriously.
You want a relationship that hopefully becomes a lasting love. This is the real deal. However, when a man behaves this way, he is actually being very CLEAR. He’s showing that he doesn’t like you enough to chase you, but that he’s happy to sleep with you if you make it easy.
The way we understand men and what is really going on is simpler than you might think.
How to respond to mixed signals
Sometimes women think that talking to a guy to understand what he is thinking will help and change everything. Imagine how having a straightforward, open, and honest conversation automatically clarifies things. Unfortunately, this is not true.
The reason this doesn’t work is that men may not want to have an open, honest conversation. And they definitely don’t like confrontation, especially during the early stages of dating.
Another point to keep in mind is that some men don’t know what they want. Others just want to sleep with you, but they are not about to say it to make themselves transparent. That’s why there are often so many mixed signals.
For these reasons, my dating advice is to stop texting and let you know when you’re there. Do not make any contact and leave the ball on its field. If this high school classmate wants to see you seriously, he knows what to do. And if not, your intentions are completely clear.
Getting away is often the only way to know how important you are to a man during the early stages of dating.
If you want more expert advice on dating to understand mixed signals, download my free book Their mixed signals are so confusing
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