It often hurts before it is a “Disguise Blessing”

In this week’s episode of The Baggage Reclaim Sessions, I talk about how, while gratitude, love for what we have, or what something gave us despite the pain, is certainly important, we too we need to be able to recognize our feelings. When we move on to gratitude and call something a “disguised blessing” during or after a difficult experience, we deny our feelings, which harms our well-being. We can both be. We can be grateful and also recognize when something hurts.

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5 key themes in this episode

  • In a world where we have been socialized and conditioned to distrust our feelings, to suppress and repress our needs, desires, expectations, feelings, and opinions, we must first allow ourselves to be angry, afflicted, feel our feelings, and giving voice to our sense of injustice and disappointment so we can gain perspective. Yes, if we allow ourselves to evolve, not to remain in the same patterns, we will experience gratitude, we will recognize the blessing in disguise. But first, we have to admit it sucks.
  • When someone urges us to “look at the bright side” almost immediately, we feel uncomfortable with the “dark side”. They don’t want to be too aware of our feelings and what this can cause in them.
  • Thanks does extract us from that space where we don’t notice anything of our day and our life except the only thing missing or the situations that make us nervous. That does open our minds to recognize what the situation shows us and teaches us.
  • Whether we’re self-critical and pessimistic or pretend it’s all my little ponies and rainbows, it’s being overlooked. We must not overlook our emotions because as soon as we do, we elude ourselves. We ignore our needs and our humanity.
  • Sometimes something hurts, and that’s it. We must not think that it is a disguised blessing that our parents have died or that we have lost a partner or that we or someone else has been hurt. He will give us something in the experience of mourning, of having to reconcile with him, but sometimes whatever it is shit and we are allowed feel that way.

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