You think, “I want to meet you in person,” but it doesn’t happen. What’s going on with the men holding on and how can you change that?
You want me to meet you in person
Are you texting and talking to a man for weeks or months, but you can’t seem to get to know him in person? You think, “I want to meet you,” and you wonder why it doesn’t happen.
This is such a common problem. Many women have been in this frustrating and unprofitable situation. My clients always want to understand why this is happening and feel connected to the men they have met by phone and texting. Often the only thing they can think of is, “I want to meet him in person!”
Below, I share my dating advice with a woman who wrote about it. She knows this situation is not good for her and wants help to break free.
Should I end this relationship?
“Dear Love Coach Ronnie,
I met this man through an online site. We’ve been texting and talking on the phone for six months. Several dates were planned, but canceled (due to his work and mine).
I feel comfortable talking to him and he always starts calling. I can tell he’s a smart guy. We can talk for hours from one topic to another, including sex, and she even shares her fantasy of being with me.
When I’m confused or upset, it supports me through calls or text messages. I want to meet him in person and he says, “I want to meet you in person, too.” But he also says he prefers to meet me slowly, talking for hours on the phone. One day, he says, we will meet.
I want to meet him in person
All in all, he is a nice person. But I know this is not going to be healthy in the long run. How should I tell him that this “fantasy” relationship between him and me should stop?
I think ignoring their calls and messages is not the right way, because we have a good relationship and we respect each other.
I need your advice and input, Ronnie.
Thank you so much.
Hoping to meet you “
Why don’t you ask me out?
Let me help you with understanding men.
The first is that you have to realize that you are NOT in a real relationship, so it’s not “good”. This virtual connection offers you emotional support, but it will never surpass the fantasy of romance.
The hard part is that you’re wasting your time. Don’t think for a second that this smart guy doesn’t know. You stay because you keep thinking, “I want to meet you in person,” and you expect it to happen someday.
Don’t you wonder why he keeps talking to you when he knows he’ll never know you? And, “Why don’t you ask me out?” I bet it would help you know your true intent.
What are your intentions?
If you decide to talk to him about it, I can assure you that he has good intentions. If you say, “I want to meet you,” he will promise to meet you in person soon. But they will only be more meaningless words to keep you in their game.
He knows you want more, but he is there to help you meet your needs over the phone. Her needs include friendship, emotional support, romance, and sexual fantasy. There may be others as well.
On the other hand, you are not meeting your needs, because you WANT MORE. He knows it, so is he honest or respectful with you? Not really.
Think about it for a moment and set your heart aside. This is the best way to understand men. Why would a man want to talk on the phone and send text messages for more than six months and not know you?
Reasons why it continues like this
- He is married or in a relationship, but he does not want to physically cheat
- He doesn’t want responsibility for a genuine relationship
- You prefer to avoid any expectations on your part
- He likes to be totally in the lead and keep you looking forward to more
- It’s not emotionally available beyond phone chats
- It doesn’t look like your picture and you know you wouldn’t look for it if you saw it
- He prefers a fantastic life to real life because he is somehow misfit
I could go on, but I’m sure you understand the idea, right?
If this man wanted to go out with you or meet you in person, he would.
She is using you and taking advantage of your good nature for emotional support and sexual fantasy. You might think that if he sends you text messages and speaks to you, he should like you. But that doesn’t mean he wants a genuine relationship.
Think of yourself first, not him
See how much time you have spent and lost with this man, waiting for him to meet you in person. More than six months! You have given your heart to a man who will NEVER know you, kiss you or be HONEST with you.
Unfortunately, it’s time to acknowledge it NOW and STOP texting and talking to it. Even if you ask, “I want to meet you now!” he would not comply.
You don’t owe him anything because you gave him everything. You’ve spent enough time dreaming about how I want to meet him in person. But that will never happen to this man.
Text with men who want to meet you
Once you get to know men in person and have dates, this guy will go into the background.
And if you meet another guy who avoids dating and you start thinking, “I want to meet him in person,” this is your signal to leave the boy FAST and move on.
If you want to find the real thing, you can’t waste time waiting for a man to “get ready.”
General rule of when to meet
A good general rule about how long it takes for a guy to get to know you in person is 7 to 10 days. This is! Any man who needs more time is not really available.
He may not be available emotionally or geographically, or his life may be too full for love to be a priority. Each of these situations is red flags that he is the wrong man, if you want lasting love.
You deserve real love
I know it’s not easy to let go, but luckily you’ve already discovered that this isn’t healthy.
You deserve all the enchilada: a man who wants to spend time with you, hug you and kiss you, laugh and hold hands, spend time with friends, go out to dinner and make love .
If you can’t turn it off, text it and tell it you’ve decided to go ahead because it won’t recognize you. Then you have to be COURAGEOUS and block it.
I guarantee he’ll stay behind you whenever you leave him. He will never let go of what is good in his life. You just have to be more discriminating with the help you render toward other people. In this case, your happiness is the only thing that matters.
Wishing you love,
Want to learn more about finding a good man who wants lasting love? Get my free book 5 Safe Ways to Attract a Quality Guy
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