He asks, “Do you like it?” This is your first clue that is probably not taken seriously by you. This is my dating advice for this reader who has this same problem.
How do I know if I like it?
“Dear dating coach Ronnie,
I’m confused with a guy I’ve been in contact with for the last few months. He told me that he liked me more than a year ago and that he wanted to be with me even though he was dating a friend of his. Just before Christmas, my relationship broke up, not because of my friend, but we didn’t get along.
When we broke up, his friend asked me for a drink. I didn’t because it was too fast after I broke up: three weeks. I later agreed to meet him, we went out and had a great night. We met again another night and things went great. For the last month we have been talking almost every day. But as the weekend draws to a close, he asks me if I have any plans and none of us.
Two weeks in a row I asked him if he wanted to do something on Sunday and he told me he would do it if he wasn’t busy. On Sunday evening he arrived and received a call or text message saying he could not do so. He was busy at home and it would be too late when he finished his work.
What do you suggest I do? I like it a lot and I wonder if I like it? I think he is interested or I would not call 5 to 7 times a week or texting.
Lost in London “
Could it be chaining you?
You ask, “Do you like it?” but the real question is whether a man you like would act like that? This man is with you. If you want a long-term relationship, I’d love to see you on the weekends.
In fact, her behavior makes me wonder if she has another wife or why she wouldn’t spend time with you over the weekend.
Obviously he doesn’t commit because he won’t even agree to see you when you ask him out. He says he’ll see if he’s busy. Never support this type of evasive response. Either he wants to see you or not.
He then responds on Sunday night when the weekend is over saying he is busy. Don’t believe it! He is busy: with another woman or avoiding you. Either way, that’s not how a man in love behaves.
Read more about why there are no weekend dates.
That’s what he really wants
When a man calls several times a week to talk, he seeks emotional support. Women often feel that this has a meaning and assume that they should be interested. Why not spend so much time calling? Well, it could be …
- Cheating emotionally without cheating physically
- Empowering your ego
- Enjoying fantasy
- He needs the emotional support of a kind woman who listens to him and pleases him
A woman falls in love with a man on the phone (text or email) because she expects him to finally love her. This never happens. Either a man is available and wants a relationship or not.
Men do not change their ways and suddenly become available or the man of your dreams. A guy who’s really interested won’t let you hang out or ask, “Do you like him?”
This kind of “relationship” is a waste of your precious time.
17 signals you don’t want a relationship
How to handle a man who doesn’t ask you out
1. Pour it
If you are smart and strong, you will leave immediately because you know you deserve better. You know it’s not him and there are better men. As a self-respecting woman, you will not accept any crumb of a man’s relationship in the hope that things will get better over time. Never look back because you know there is nothing.
2. Stop talking every night
If this is too scary, stop talking to him every night. Just don’t answer the phone and other times pick it up and say you’re too busy to talk. Mix up your excuses for about a week.
If he doesn’t disappear or wants to know what’s going on, say something like, “If you want to talk, let’s do it in person. Are you free on Saturday night? “If he doesn’t see you on the weekend yet, go ahead.
Like it or not?
Then, in response to the question, “Do you like it?” my 20 years of experience say NO. He is using you as an emotional support or to increase your ego. My bet is you want to spend time with a good man face to face. That makes this guy the BAD guy.
If you’re ready for reality, spending quality time doing fun things, sharing life and kissing, it’s time to move on. You can’t do this over the phone.
Wishing you love,
Download a copy of my free book on mixed signals that men send today!
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