How To Love Yourself Through Dating Disappointments And Loving Love | Alexis Meads | Dating coach and dating expert

Dating is risky.

It can cause pain, anger, sadness, and feelings of rejection.

Feelings that enter our subconscious from the wounds of childhood.

It can provoke us in a way that makes us wonder why we even bother to seek love in the first place when it seems so difficult at times.

The most serious risk: what if it doesn’t work.

But this is not the only risk.

There is another risk: the risk of no trying.

How is it not trying a risk?

You risk settling down and continuing in the same direction in the same way, wondering about other paths and possibilities, believing that this is as good as possible while something deep in your soul longs for intimacy and love.

Whether you get out there and have a date or not, there is a risk anyway.

And sometimes going out, for what may be the hundredth time, is actually the least risky thing.

Loving yourself through the disappointments of dating and lovelessness is key when you run the risk of putting your heart at stake.

Lack of self-love is the basic problem most of us face every day.

We stick to ourselves, all day long.

We get angry with ourselves for saying the wrong thing, getting involved in a social situation, drinking too much alcohol, having a one night stand, and so on. We are so hard on ourselves, and that toughness has gotten worse over time.

This affects everything from the kind of people we hang out with to how we love in our relationships.

It makes us less happy, anxious, stuck, dissatisfied in relationships, more likely to look for junk food or distractions to comfort us.

If we could give ourselves love, it would begin to heal all that.

Everything could change.

You could take risks and love wholeheartedly and calm down in a healthy way during trials and tribulations.

  • Pause. Allow yourself to feel the sadness, frustration, anger, or anxiety you may feel related to a disappointment or dislike of dating. Don’t think about it, let your body feel the physical sensations of this. Observe these physical sensations instead of running away from them. Give it a moment.
  • Think of someone you love dearly. It can be a child, a parent, a sibling or a friend. Imagine them going through a difficult time and sending love from your heart to theirs, wishing them better.
  • Turn all those loving, catchy feelings toward yourself and feeling it as a kind of emotional ointment, healing the wounds that need healing. This may be a little awkward at first, but just do your best, giving yourself that love.

Do this for yourself all the time. Put reminder notes everywhere!

Don’t hold back from this kind of self-love.

That’s what most of us need, and it will be what will make you go through the disappointments and disaffection of dating.

With so much love

A.