The last two years have left a lot of people a little rusty when it comes to going out again and meeting people “in real life.”
In today’s video, I share 7 things you can do to get out of dating apps once and for all and meet someone you choose in real life, inspiring them to take the first step. . .
I hope this week’s video helps you both feel ready i wanting to get back out there. That’s it!
Ready to take advantage of everything your life has to offer?
Reach your potential once and for all.
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One of the reasons people use dating apps is the perceived ease of being in a dating app as a way to meet people. Of course, the experience of many people is that it is not so easy. It gets complicated very quickly, requires a lot of effort and often nothing real materializes. In fact, you never end up dating or you don’t know anyone you like. It’s hard to get things off the ground. So, is there any way to make real-life meetings feel easy again?
Now, one might think that the most important thing we need on our side if we want to start meeting people in real life, if we want to have the ability to get closer to people, to take risks, to create opportunities, the first thing we would do. need is courage. However, it is true that having courage can help create opportunities, because it means stepping out of our comfort zone to make something happen. If you think about it, the attraction needs a moment. Attraction doesn’t just happen if there isn’t a time to support it. And one of the reasons we don’t create moments with other people where attraction can happen is because we’re scared or they’re scared. We are all afraid of rejection, we are all afraid of the shame of saying the wrong thing.
Now, while it may be true that courage is helpful, I believe there is an even more subtle secret to creating real-life opportunities. And that is to say, to make other people brave in the way you behave. So in this video, I’m going to give you seven things you can do to make other people brave around you. Because if your superpower is to make other people brave in your presence, you are the one who will reap the fruits.
Number 1, no, don’t create a friendly fortress. This is where you and your friends surround us in a meeting where you are all facing each other, and it is very difficult for anyone to enter this little world and talk to any of you. So imagine you’re with a friend and that friend is here. Now, if you sign up for each other, this doesn’t work for anyone here. I can’t work like that, Jameson. I need an actor. Thanks.
You imagine this is the bar here, and we’re both pointing at the bar like this with a kind of V-shape. No one can come in here and talk to any of us. But if we position ourselves a little, and we are having a good conversation with each other, but half of our body, half of our energy is aimed at each other. So Monkey may be here making an interesting point. What about eggs, but at the same time, half of our energy goes to the room. There’s all this space where someone can come talk to us now, without having to do that, where they have to peel that open, banana reference so they can talk to me and Monkey, who’s drunk.
Number 2, “The Look.” If we want someone to come and be brave enough to talk to us, it’s essential to look at them, to make real eye contact. And by the way, the first look is just a moment when you register with each other. It’s the second or third look where someone notices that you are now looking at them intentionally. And you might be doing something perfectly routine, like drinking coffee or reading a book in a coffee shop. But every now and then, just look up from your book, look around the room, look at them, and then keep reading your book. Or if you’re making a phone call, you’re talking, talking, talking, having a good time, you look at them, you keep looking down, and then you look at them again, and you keep talking. It is very subtle, but these small moments are equivalent to more courage on his part. Now that doesn’t mean you have to search for a long time.
The other day I had a woman with whom I was on stage and I said, “How long do you think you should look if you’re trying to make someone else brave,” and she said, “Hmm, five seconds? ” And then I made it all count as I watched someone for five seconds. I will see.
Number 3, you can make people braver if you get physically close. How much space is there? How difficult would that be? Even if you looked at them and they looked back thinking, “Oh, I like this person, this person is attracted to me. I should go.” How much space do they have to close to get close and make a move? Think of it this way. If you want them to talk to you first, imagine that the part you are helping is getting closer and the part they are doing is talking. And as a general note, by the way, move around a room a bit. Even if we are walking, we have a drink, we go to the bathroom, we just move. We are creating more opportunities for things to happen. We are catching up, in the traffic of the room.
Number 4, use “Please”. I’ve been saying this for years, I’ll finish it very quickly right here. One of the easiest ways to talk to someone is to simply ask them a favor. “Could you hold my jacket for a second? Do you know where to go after that? Could you recommend me something you’ve had here before?” If you can ask someone for a small favor, you are giving them permission to talk to you at that time. The best part is that they don’t necessarily see it as a hit, they just see it as an opportunity to be kind, generous, to be chivalrous with you. And so, it makes them braver.
Number 5, use what I call “Twice Theory.” One of the things that makes us nervous when we want to talk to people is that we think too much about what we should do the first time we talk to them. That is, we think, “I have to go there, I have to say something interesting, I have to have a conversation. And if it’s to go anywhere at any time, one of us has to ask for the other’s number so we can continue this conversation after this meeting. ” Now, if you start stacking all the things that need to happen for this to be a successful interaction, you’ll be overwhelmed before you even go.
Two Hit Theory takes the opposite approach. You go and say something to someone without intending to continue the conversation. At that point, you could literally look at it and say, “That looks great, what do you have? What you just ordered looks delicious.” And they say, “Yeah, it’s blah, blah, blah.” And you say, “Well, I hope you enjoy it.” Or, “Hey, how are you?” Sometimes, literally, it’s just that.
You’re next to someone who says, “Hey, how are you?” And you have no intention of continuing. You’ll be amazed at how brave you are when you have no intention of continuing the conversation. This is Hit One. The second success is later in this social environment, when that person feels that he can talk to you, he can have another exchange, because you have given him permission before.
Number 6, develop the mindset of a restaurant owner. Have you ever been to a restaurant and noticed that there is a man or woman walking around and approaching people who say, “Hey, how are you? Are you enjoying your meal? How’s everything?” And then he finds out that this person is the owner. However, the fact that people do not necessarily know that he was the owner when he came to greet them does not really matter. The only thing the customers really knew was that someone was coming over and I liked it and wondered if I was having a good time, if I was enjoying my meal. It’s the heat. It is the confidence that makes us relate to this person.
Now, I like to think about having a restaurant owner mentality in life in general. I was recently asked, “What would you do if you were walking and walking in one way and someone you were attracted to walking in the other? How would you strike up a conversation with that person?” Well, one way to do that is to literally have the mindset of the restaurant owner when it comes to the tour. This is my walk. I own the walk. So when you walk past that person, “Hey, are you having a good walk? Have a good time… How’s your walk today?” You literally apply the same mindset.
Now, this brings us to my last point. What we say is not as important as the fact that we are saying something. Because when we say something to someone, we are creating a moment where attraction can happen. The attraction cannot pass without a moment. But also, deep down, to say something is to really give someone permission. It’s not about being the most ingenious person in the room. It’s not about saying the smartest or the most seductive. And it’s certainly not about saying the most original. In dating apps, there are all sorts of hints and ingenious ways to craft a new initial exchange. In real life, we don’t really need all that. What we need is the opportunity to really connect for a moment. For a moment, this could lead to an attraction. These moments will never pass if we try to make these moments perfect.
But if, instead of trying to be perfect, the only thing we do is work to give people permission to be brave, we will be creating those moments all the time. Talk to most couples who have been together for a long time and ask them, “What is the first line you said to yourself?” They won’t remember, because the line wasn’t important. But the permission he brought to everything else was everything.
Now look, the things I’m talking about in this video seem small, but why is it so hard to implement in our lives? It’s because what can make an inch of difference in our body language, or in our smile, or in the things we say, has the feeling of moving a mountain internally.
What I want to do with you, if I may, is teach you how to change the wiring inside that you have, so that you start doing these little things on the outside naturally. Because I know that if you start doing these things, your life will definitely change. Is inevitable. Your life will change. But sometimes it’s hard to do even the little things when we’re still working with old software.
Now, in March, I have mine Virtual retreat coming from 18 to 20. And this is where we update the software that is there for you once and for all, so that you can finally take advantage of everything that is available in your life and realize your potential. Because once you discover how to control your confidence, how you see yourself, your relationship with yourself, your associations on the inside, changes on the outside become natural.
If you’ve taken any of my programs or seen any of my videos and found it difficult to make changes to the outside, it’s because the inside isn’t cooperating. What we will do for three days is align these things.
For more information, go to MHVirtualRetreat.com. It will be three wonderful days and I hope you will join us. I also have a video there waiting for me to tell you more about the program so you can learn all about it. MHVirtualRetreat.com is the link. I leave it here, and it is also in the description below. Thank you for watching.
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