If you are dating a widower, you may have found one of the best partners for a loving and lasting relationship. A widower didn’t go through the pain of breaking up a marriage and a divorce, so he doesn’t have that kind of emotional baggage.
In fact, statistically speaking, widowers are the people most likely to remarry.
Men who were married and still love their wives usually want to find this kind of romantic couple again. They like to have a woman around and share their life.
Most widowers are not afraid of commitment either: they enjoy it. So, there are many wonderful aspects to going out with a widower.
However, if you’re questioning their willingness for a relationship, this is another story and one thing to watch out for. There can be many horrors about dating a widower.
Even the most amazing man, who has not completed the mourning process, must be out of bounds or you will regret getting involved.
Fortunately, you have nothing to worry about as long as you see these seven signs that let you know it is READY.
Going out with a widower who is not ready
While you may have some anxiety about dating a widower, most seek love again more quickly than widows, usually after one year compared to five years on average for women.
However, he really wants to stay away for a whole year after the loss of his wife.
On the other hand, there are a number of serious concerns if your grief continues. That’s why you want to know if she’s ready for a new relationship or just feels lonely and takes time with you.
The last thing you want to do is “help” him overcome his dead wife. This requires broad emotional support on a topic that will break your heart: your love for another woman. You can’t compete with the dead.
Helping a widower is sadly wrong because what you are really doing is waiting for him to recover quickly. Also, ignoring the obvious fact that he is not ready for reality with you.
All your good intentions in this case to relieve your pain and connect with it will simply cause devastating lovelessness.
The horrors of going out with a widower
Make no excuses for any man’s behavior, especially with the widow you’re dating.
If he shows signs of being unprepared, and you take yourself seriously when it comes to finding lasting love, then you are barking at the wrong tree and wasting time with the wrong man. Don’t do this to yourself!
At the end of this article you will find a list of red flags about dating a widower.
The horrors of dating a widower are notorious, of hiding from his family, of keeping the relationship a secret, of sneaking in, and more. This is a sure way to completely lose your dignity and ruin your self-esteem.
It is better to leave and start again with a new man who is READY. There’s nothing worse than staying there waiting for some guy to beat his wife. Ugh!
You’re thinking, “If only we could focus on how good we are together.” The problem is, if he could, he would, but now he can’t go.
7 signs of preparation to go out with a widower
What are the good signs to watch out for? If you are enjoying the company of a widower and you see these seven signs, you are likely to be ready for the lasting love you want.
1. A year has passed
Most widows will return by now and look forward to finding a new partner in a year.
This is the average period of mourning for most men. And statistically, these men are the most likely to remarry. Yay!
If only a few months have passed, it doesn’t matter how big the boy is: HE’S NOT READY! Stay away from it no matter how great a catch it looks or how nice, charming or sexy it is, if you don’t want to break your heart.
Men often go from a woman who “helped” them to overcome the loss of a woman or other emotional situation, because they don’t want to remember their moment of weakness.
2. Your actions and words are synchronized and matched
When the guy you’re dating says something and then goes on, that’s always a good sign.
But it’s even more significant when you’re dating a widower. This shows that you are ready for a relationship because a man’s actions are what matters most. Talking is easy, but actions show a man’s true intentions.
This is true for any man you date. You want someone you can count on and whose word is like gold.
When you meet a man who talks, you are dating a man with integrity. Some men talk about a good game, but if they don’t play it, what’s the point?
If you can’t keep up, take care of yourself and your heart. Be smart and go.
3. Don’t talk about it constantly
An unprepared widower constantly talks about his wife. Everything makes a memory of something special about her or an aspect she misses.
You can’t win against a good memory, so don’t even try. Now his wife has been placed on a pedestal and you, even if you are by his side, cannot compare yourself. He’s just not ready to go out with you or any serious woman.
If the breeding is occasional and does not last too long, this is normal, something to look forward to and hopefully not difficult to tolerate.
If you are offended that he is talking about his wife, he is not the right man for you. If he has been happily married for many years, he will talk about her to some extent and may feel sad about his birthday or birthday. This is to be expected.
Better signs on widows
4. You only have a few photos
It is understandable that after many years of marriage to a woman he loved, his late wife appears in the photos.
A few here or there make sense and it is expected. However, if you have your picture next to the bed and around the house as a shrine, this is an important RED FLAG. If you still have your picture with her on social media, it’s the same sign that you’re not ready.
He is still deeply distressed and unprepared for a relationship with you. Don’t ignore this about going out with a widower, thinking that you can simply convince him to save these photos.
They’re a statement about where you are in your healing process that you can’t rush, no matter how well you behave or how you like it.
One of my clients told me how a man from the Bumble dating app got in touch with her. Of the six photos, half of them included his wife. Talk about rubbing salt in my wounds – d’oh!
He liked it and wanted to know what he thought. I told him NO WAY. I can’t even imagine what this man was thinking, can I? This is a real story.
5. He is constantly chasing you
As with any man, you want him to chase you constantly. That means he calls you weekly, takes you to an appointment at least once a week if not more, and sends text messages in between (if you’re a text messenger).
This is what you are looking for as a sign that you are really interested in yourself.
When you meet a widower, this is especially important. If she sees you sporadically having some female company, getting emotional support, or avoiding feeling alone, this does not bode well for a healthy and lasting relationship.
Once you see a man weekly and your time together becomes more frequent, that’s a good sign. Note that consistency creates a relationship.
So if your contact or dating is more sporadic, it’s likely to be more informal than you think, and not serious about you or you may find love.
Going out with a widower over 50 years old
6. Introduce yourself to the family
When you go out with a widower of any age, if he is very concerned about not disturbing his family with you, he is not ready to go out.
You want to be with a man who has confidence in himself, in his actions, and in his choices. A man who is afraid of what his family will think of you or your dates is not standing still.
Don’t think that everything will go well when they see how great you are together. Trust me, this is NOT what they will think.
In a case like this, the family (including children, parents, or in-laws) is concerned with preserving the status quo and the loving memory of his wife.
You can’t win if there’s any competition with your ghost; you will lose.
7. Introduce yourself to friends and family
Another great sign of a man’s genuine interest and preparation is when he begins to introduce you to the people who matter most in his life.
Once you get to know friends and family in particular, you’ll know you’re on the right track.
Understand that with children, especially if they are small, it can take longer.
This makes sense in the case of dating a widowed or divorced man. Most men (and women) want to know that you will be in the long run before meeting children.
Warning signs and horrors of going out with a widower
To sum up the warning signs, if it’s been less than a year since your wife died and you’re talking about your future together, but you never follow it, you’re not ready.
If he talks about his wife constantly, he still has tons of photos of her even on Facebook, he’s not consistent with his attention, he’s not ready.
If you express your concern about what your family may say or do not introduce you to anyone, these are serious red flags, so that you know that going out with this widower is not a wise choice.
Sometimes widows want to keep your relationship a secret, tell some family members but not others, or introduce you to their friends. Things have to come out or you are witnessing the horrors of going out with a widower. He is not ready.
Only he can decide when he is healed and ready for a serious and lasting relationship with a young woman.
Don’t waste your time and heart on helping him recover. This is an ungrateful job and will lead to lovelessness. As soon as a man feels better and more emotionally whole, he will usually leave and find another woman to commit to.
He looks rotten and heartless. When a man is not at his best, he really can’t give you what you want. He may love and appreciate you, but he may also be supported by you. And when he recovers, being with you will remind him of the time when he was weak and recovering. He can’t stand it, so go ahead.
You will not gain it by regaining your emotional health.
The good news about widows
Now, the good news is that a widower knows how to love and usually wants to remarry.
He is not phobic about commitment and likes to have a wife in his life. So if you are dating a widower who is showing all the good signs described in this post, great!
Enjoy this moment with your new man and take things in stride to make sure you are both making good decisions. No rush. Taking your time allows you to savor every happy moment.
Find out how to connect with a great man in my free audio program 5 Safe Ways to Attract a Quality Man
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