I get a few emails from my readers and try to shape the weekly articles, videos, and podcasts to match the questions.
One thing I see in common in many of these emails is a belief…
It’s a belief that will lead you down the wrong path if you let it go, and I felt compelled to point it out to you in this brief post.
The belief is this:
If you have great sex with a boy, that it means something.
I am here to break this myth.
That it doesn’t it means “something.”
In fact, it means absolutely NOTHING to your relationship.
(Guys also fall in love with this one, by the way. Above all if a long time has passed without.)
In fact, if you focus on this as a “sign” of your relationship, you’ll probably get it more likely than the relationship he won’t Do exercise.
This is what I think is happening to many women who fall in love with this myth: (It is an assumption not expressed more than anything …)
- “If we have good sex, that means we have to have some kind of magical relationship connection!”
Also, the dangerous reason why many women want to give it more importance is this:
Pretending to be “special” also justifies those times when you had sex too soon (probably even TO KNOW you shouldn’t do it anyway) and they were worried about “abandoning” it too quickly.
If sex is amazing, well, this is a great benefit PIF! moment for which you can rest easy.
PIF! It worked fine … I can make that mistake and get out of it (your subconscious says …)
Great sex is just … great sex.
This is. Nothing more.
There is no “meaning” behind it, other than finding someone with whom you have good sexual compatibility.
Yes, a positive sex life is a key element in a successful relationship.
But I don’t care how many “O’s” you have … or how many times you say “It’s so different from you …” and so on.
I want you to be careful not to overemphasize this single element, or to mistakenly believe that it means you are meant to be.
Men are automatically triggered to devalue and discount women too easy. I know. I’ve heard it more times than I’d like to tell you.
There is a need in people to want to jump right in LOVE when they find out they are well together in the bedroom. After all, something so “weird” has to be beautiful and important, right?
If you jumped into bed with the next 50 guys you know, you’ll probably find 5 who actually locked Legos with you. And the “rarity” of this experience is almost there nothing to do with the quality of your partner, really.
The really ironic part is that there were at least so many guys who didn’t do so well in bed (you could have trained and “fixed”) i would have been INCREDIBLE partners for you.
But here it is the reality which we do not normally face:
Unless there is real trauma or sexual problems at work, sex in a deeply loving relationship always be better.
It may not be “wild crazy” sex, but you can leave it for a weekend when you get over it.
For now, stop pretending that what the media is telling you is “freedom“o”liberator“o”empowerment” is within your best interest.
Don’t pretend that something new and a boy who knows the movements in bed means “soul mate”.
Your job is to MAKE YOU PURSUIT AND WANT YOU.
Give him the championship ring to play a game (i.e. a date) will never keep a man motivated to live up to his potential in your relationship.
It’s like saying you’re okay with the first one that comes along. Which is also telling your self-esteem you don’t deserve much.
And from there it doesn’t improve. You know.
Sure you are free to go out and take as much fun as you want. As much as any man.
But don’t be fooled into thinking this will win a man’s heart, or give him what he really wants to keep coming back for more.
Question for what you want, and it ceases to be easy for him.
Men want a challenge.
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