Ghost? How to get the closing: last first date




Posted by Sandy Weiner in Half-Life Dating 0 comments



If you’ve been ghosted, it’s painful. In this video, you’ll learn how to do it close when you haven’t received it from the person you dated.

Have you ever been a ghost? Whether it’s after a few dates or a few months, ghosting is very painful, because the person you’re dating is abruptly cutting off all contact with you.

The ghost does not leave you with any closure. In this video, you’ll learn how to shut up when the person you’re dating isn’t allowed to.

Why we need closure

It is important to process the grief and pain of rejection we feel and the end of the relationship so that we can move forward in the future to create healthier relationships.

Why is the ghost so painful?

When they make you a ghost, you and your love interest couldn’t argue why the relationship didn’t work out. Maybe the timing was wrong. Maybe there were differences that could not be overcome.

When you don’t have closure, you create your own narrative or stories about why the relationship ended, which often turn into doubts. “What did I do wrong?” “Why didn’t I like it?” “What if I didn’t say or do __________?”

How to stop self-doubt

Know that the thoughts in your head are assumptions, not necessarily truths. We don’t know why the person is ghosting us. And the stories we invent are probably not true. So how can we stop ourselves from doubting ourselves?

Ask yourself better questions, such as, “Why would I want to date someone who would end up without a conversation?”

How can ghosts be prevented?

You can’t control the behavior of others, but there are several things you can do differently next time that can keep you from getting hooked or taken so badly.

1. Generate confidence more slowly.

2. If you tend to have sex at first, wait until you see a constant interest in your partner. You can think more rationally instead of letting your hormones take over and ignoring the red flags.

3. Don’t share your vulnerabilities so quickly. People need to earn your deepest stories, so tell them slowly once trust has been built.

How to close yourself

1. Work with all your feelings; sadness, pain, relief … to feel them all, so that they don’t get sad and come back again and again.

2. Turn your inner narrative from “why am I ghosted” to “what can I learn from this?”

3. Do not date to fill the gap. Take your first time for yourself.

4. Write him a letter, but don’t send it. Thank him for what you appreciated about him. Then tell her how you feel about how she treated you and what you would like her to do. Wish him the best and thank him for letting you go to find someone more supportive who treats you better.

Remember, sometimes things don’t work out and there’s nothing you or your partner could have done differently. Sometimes feelings fade away, or the timing is wrong, or something else is out of your control. It may not seem fair to you, and it may hurt, but you are lovable and you will be fine.

When you close, you will build a new story for yourself, one where you know that this man was your teacher, which is an important step towards the right relationship for you.


If you are stuck in dating and relationships and would like to find your last first date, sign up for a free innovative 45 minute session with Sandy https://lastfirstdate.com/application

Join your last first date on Facebook https://facebook.com/groups/yourlastfirstdate

Get a copy of Sandy’s book, Becoming a woman of value; How to thrive in life and love.

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