Excessive sharing of dates? – Last first date




Posted by Sandy Weiner in Dating Communication Skills | 0 comments



If you tend to share more on dating, or feel uncomfortable when your appointment is over-shared, you MUST watch this video!

Do you share more dates? Have you ever had an appointment with someone who has over-shared it? In this video, I discuss what over-sharing is, why dating can be a problem, and what we can do about it.

Excessive sharing of dates?

What is over-sharing and why is it a problem?

A lot of people dig deep before they know someone well. They share too much too soon, usually around relationships, finances, or past traumas. Why is this a problem? Because if you share the deepest things before you get to know each other and like them, you run the risk of turning off people you like. We all judge quickly, and if you’re hearing about illness, addiction, or debt, you probably don’t have a second date. If someone shares too much with you before they get to know you well, we wonder about unresolved issues.

Why do people over-share?

Because we are restless and want to be accepted.

We are concerned that:

  • They will not be attracted to us
  • We will not be impressive enough
  • We will not be interesting enough
  • They may reject us for something, so we should talk about it right away and see what happens

What do we share in excess?

  • Past relationships
  • Finance
  • Past trauma / illness

What to do if you share too soon

Brené Brown says people should earn your stories. So be like an onion. Withdraw layer after layer, one step at a time, after building confidence, slowly and steadily. Prepare in advance what you want to share at each stage.

When your date is overly shared

Set a limit. Tell them you don’t feel comfortable hearing this right now. Or you may ask, “What does your therapist say about this?”

Most of us don’t realize that sharing too much too soon can turn off the people we like. So be an onion and take out the layers one at a time, as you get to know the person you’re dating. As trust and affection grow, you can reveal more difficult things. But in the beginning, connect with the good things; your passions, your dreams and what makes you laugh. Because laughter is so much sexier than debt!


If you feel stuck in dating and relationships and would like to find your last first date, sign up for a free 1/2 hour innovation session with Sandy https://lastfirstdate.com/application

Join your last first date on Facebook https://facebook.com/groups/yourlastfirstdate

Get a copy of Sandy’s book, Becoming a woman of value; How to thrive in life and love.

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