Everything You Need to Know About Dating (2022)

Written by men’s dating coach Gary Gunn, founder of Social Attraction

This article will teach you everything you need to know about hypergamy and why it is essential for your long-term dating life. This knowledge used in the right way will help you transform yourself from a normal man who has limited success with women to a man who is safer and more attractive to all women.

Understanding the dynamics of hypergamy will lead to:

  • Greater focus on your goals in life from an early age
  • Have a stronger and safer framework around women
  • More women chasing you as a long-term dating option

Learn how to be more attractive to women by taking one of our Social Attraction courses. You’ll find a link at the bottom of this article to schedule a free 30-minute consultation call with me. In the call, we’ll find out which of our courses is right for you to transform your confidence in dating.

You can see the real-life transformations of our clients here: reviews of social attraction courses

What is hypergamy?

Hypergamy is the act of marrying or having sex with a person with a higher sociological or educational background. In short, this means that men and women are looking for “a date.” This term applies more to women, commonly referred to as female or female hypergamy, which I will discuss later in the article.

Understanding this term is essential because, for example, you consider a young man who wants to succeed with women. Instead of thinking about what to say or how to approach a woman, that is, the elements that make up the most superficial level of dating, hypergamy is more of a global way of looking at dating life.

Overview of appointments

This global vision focuses on taking control and rising higher in the state of your life so that hypergamy works for you on a personal level. Having ambition in your career and achieving your goals are two elements that sustain hypergamy because women are attracted to successful men who can make positive and decisive life decisions.

Therefore, the sooner you focus on a career and achieve success, the more women will consider you a potential partner.

Attracting success and confidence from different areas, in turn, means that you are less likely to chase women, a mindset that may be too easy for men to fall for dating and discouraging women. For more tips on how to stop feeling (and therefore acting) in need with women, read my men’s dating advice article. A snapshot of some of the key points is included here:

5 ways to stop transmitting needs to women

Psychology of hypergamy

In 1859 Charles Darwin published a book entitled On the Origin of Species, where he coined the term natural selection. The term, we all know, refers to the survival of the fittest. Later in the same book, Darwin coined a new term called sexual selection.

The theory of sexual selection means that we all compete within our species for a member of the opposite sex with the highest possible value.

Past hypergamy

It gets interesting here, because according to the theory of sexual selection, it is likely that men will want to reproduce with as many partners as they can. In comparison, women want to have sex and have children with someone who can protect and support them. And, from an evolutionary perspective, the man with the most resources was better positioned to offer that security.

This concept of sexual selection dates back to the 19th century. The term hypergamy was initially used by anthropologists studying marriage within the caste system in India (AMShah, The Structure of Indian Society; Then and Now). However, it is now seen as a more modern dating term.

The psychology of sexual selection theory and hypergamy indicate that women, on a biological level, want to “look” and not “fall in love” with education, income, or employment. his partner. Again, this goes back to the idea that a man with more resources can provide a woman with more security.

Modern hypergamy

How relevant is this to you in your dating life today? If you develop to become a man with ambition, ability, and ingenuity, women will naturally see you as a superior dating prospect.

For example, you are working on the following:

  • Training to be physically bigger, stronger and fitter?
  • Have more financial success?

The more you focus on these goals, the more successful you will be. In other words, the more hypergamy works for you. To help you understand more about the biology behind sexual attraction and how to trigger it in women, I suggest you read my article on how to make a woman want you sexually. You can also find some basics in the infographic guide here:

Three ways to make you more sexually attractive to women

What is female hypergamy?

Female hypergamy refers to the idea that women seek to date men of the same or higher socioeconomic status. That is, they “update” in terms of resources. These resources include wealth, social class, status, and employment.

Here it is worth remembering that, along with evolutionary biology, our social history has played an important role in the existence of hypergamy, as women have not had access to the same opportunities or education as men. Indeed, women’s choices throughout history were related to the best “marriage perspective”.

Instead, most men are very happy to “go out.” Thus, when a man meets an attractive woman, he cares less about her level of resources, social status, or education. From a biological point of view, the general rule is that men seek to spread their seed to as many women as possible. At the same time, women are more interested in long-term security.

Of course, women these days are not just looking for wealth or status in a relationship. However, hypergamy is still an element that you can consider in your long-term appointments.

Have social value

Another shocking way to attract women, specifically in conversation, is to break off the relationship when the time requires it. Most men are too scared to break up when they talk to an attractive woman. As a result, they may seem too pleasant and complacent.

Being assertive enough to break the relationship conveys trust and high status. It also takes the woman out of autopilot and makes her re-evaluate your social worth, as only a confident man acts that way. To learn how to do this, read my article on how to attract a woman. You can find a snapshot of some of the main points about breaking up the relationship below:

3 ways to break the relationship with women and attract them

What is an example of hypergamy?

Imagine an attractive 23-year-old girl who has just finished her fashion career. She meets a 36-year-old man who is a lawyer and is already very successful. If you want to date someone who is successful and you can keep them alive, then you can see how hypergamy works and they end up dating each other.

You can also see why a 23-year-old boy who has not yet had the same success in his life finds it difficult for hypergamy to work for him. Now I could go out with a younger girl. Or, he might be more successful working harder before his life.

The long-term effect

Hypergamy usually develops over time. Thus, as men get older, we have more opportunities to succeed or develop in our goals. In fact, we assume that you cannot implement hypergamy in your life (in terms of employment, finance, or education). In this case, you run the risk of becoming less attractive to any woman you date.

In my infographic below, you will find five strategies that will help you elevate your thinking to become a more desirable man who attracts women through the dynamics of hypergamy. You can read more about this long-term approach in my article on how to attract women.

Five Ways to Attract Women to Long-Term Brides

Tips on hypergamy

Having a proper understanding of the term hypergamy gives you an advantage in dating. I have been professionally coaching boys and single men in relationships for the past 12 years. In my experience, the men who are most successful in dating are the ones who first work on their goals and then meet women alongside that.

The man who manages to get out successfully:

  • He goes to the gym and is in good physical condition
  • He works hard at his career and his life goals
  • Spend time traveling

And what happens is that it elevates women so that they want to be a part of their lives. In practice, he manages to make hypergamy work for him because he has a successful mindset.

Making hypergamy work for you

Hypergamy is a term you may not have heard of until you found this article. However, now that you have a better understanding of it, you can consider what stage of your life you are in.

If you are 20 years old, this is the time to work hard on your career and your physique to improve your status in the world. At 30, this growth and development does not change. Think about it as you move forward in life.

At Social Attraction we can help you, whether it’s to get hypergamy to work for you or to increase your status and confidence in getting closer and meeting women. Our coaching will help you become a more desirable man on your own terms. To learn more about how we can help, visit our Transformation Courses page.


  • Hypergamy is the term used to describe when a woman seeks to keep up with the couple’s education, income, or employment.
  • Working on your goals and self-development allows you to use the power of hypergamy.
  • If you do not understand the dynamics of hypergamy, you run the risk of losing any partner in the long run.

Your path to successful dating

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