True romances of a couple online
I met (via Zoom) with Emma in late May, and with her blessing, today I’m writing about the ups and downs of online dating with a client I worked closely with. There’s no sugar coating, as it’s not a lifelong holiday movie, but what real people find when they hire a dating coach to help them find “the only one”.
So let’s start with the Zoom call: I learned that last year she moved from the east coast to the west coast to be close to her 21-year-old daughter. Now, as Emma answered all my questions, she was a little reluctant and reluctant to be too personal. (If you know me and my style, I need to be personalized for you to get results!). My other thoughts: 62 years old, beautiful, athletic, divorced, elegant and a successful professional with a vocabulary that surprised me, and made me nervous writing her dating profile. (Yes, he has written books).
Emma went straight and told me she had been to Match, Bumble, Hinge, eHarmony and Zoosk; its goal is a long-term relationship. He said he did not contact the men and asked for the date, waiting for him to take the first step. Uhh-huh, I thought, we’ll change it! Frankly, he was discouraged by online dating.
Couples yoga and ax throwing are one thing!
Except Emma was very receptive to my ideas, and if she wasn’t, I reminded her that she paid me for my advice.
Weekly chats then modified her photos, dating profile, and dating sites: Emma was ready for rock and roll. By mid-June, she had gone on 5 dates with different men, enjoying each one in a different way, and had even asked for a man. Progress, progress! Keep reading!
What Emma said about me! . . .
I have been divorced for 11 years and have worked with several dating coaches before meeting Andrea. She taught me a couple of tricks that really made a difference. They include holding the first phone call in no more than 15 minutes, and most importantly, if the initial call went well, ASK for the date instead of waiting for you to ask. As a result, I went to many more appointments in a short period of time. It’s the first live date that tells you if you like it, not a long phone call, days of endless texting, or even a video date. She was also great at helping me find my way around and finding the right guys online, sorting out the “duds” and being an endless cheerleader when I felt discouraged.
Then came a big date with Michael * —- only to find out that he was waiting for his wife to die. She thought, there is no way to make this trip with him. Then Sam came in with a careless, surprised, startling kiss in the parking lot. No, but thank you so much for dinner.
Then came Ethan and his 8 children. The next one was Nick: there were several dates, from a champagne picnic to a kayak, until one night he was late looking for her for an outdoor concert. He insisted on parking nearby (even though they were an hour late) and spent another 40 minutes looking for a place while Nick got more and more furious, his face turned red and he blew his horn. No, Emma thought. This guy is too angry for me.
Now let’s get to the fun part. In early September, Jack was the lucky man on a date with Emma. Emma called me the next day and I quote: “We had a great time; I know I’ll never see him again.
What? Why not? Oh, Emma continued, she’s too funny and (maybe a player?) And she’s not my type. He called her the next day, a 56-minute call. Jack rented bikes and they spent Saturday riding bikes along the Pacific Coast Highway. Then a picnic on the beach listening to a concert. The next surprise? Goat Yoga was the gift John gave her for her birthday, which they did together. For her birthday she also took her to the legendary Las Brisas in Laguna Beach with a dance afterwards.
Then they had the “talk.” Yes, they were exclusive.
Boom. The next big move for Emma: she invited him to Thanksgiving to meet her daughter, and now they see each other at least 3 times a week. Sometimes you have to kiss a lot of frogs. Sometimes it takes a few dates to find out if you’ve met your prince.
On Saturday night, Emma sent me a picture. Both at a holiday party.
I was moooolt excited. They got along very well together. Okay, I even showed them to my teens – they loved their style!
And if you’re ever wondering why I do what I do, it’s my clients like Emma who I’m close to, happy when they’re happy, finding new options when they’re not (yes, at some point at the beginning of the process, l ‘Emma was discouraged, perhaps after the drunken kiss, and I advised her to take a two-week break from online dating sites and generally dating sites, to come back renewed).
There is a lid for each pot! Be positive and confident and the magic will pass!
Thanks Emma for allowing me to share your story and photo!
Love and happy holidays
* Names were changed, but dates and everything else are true.
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