Overnight, your life has become one of those romantic movie montages that show the highlight of a perfect relationship, except that instead of a montage of a year or two, it reaches these milestones after a few weeks.
And then, of course, it happens. . . it begins to recede, and before you know it, it is completely gone.
If you’re familiar with this video, this video is for you I share 3 tests that will help you spot a loving terrorist.
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How do you spot a love bomber? Does the person you’re seeing now love to bomb you? Or are they just a kind of wonderful romance that you should throw into your arms and enjoy all the beautiful feelings that are being created? Maybe we first define a loving firefighter.
A love bomber is a kind of love vampire. They know that love is both a goal and a weapon. The goal, because love is that feeling they are trying to get, and it could be different forms of love. It could be making love, it could be sex. Or it could be the dizzying feelings they really enjoy in the early stages of a relationship. Treat yourself like a kind of container of fresh love that will be used as an aerosol. And then, when you’re empty, they pass on to the next person and they feel dizzy again.
They use love as a weapon because the way they create these dizzying feelings is to give them to you, it is to give you a lot of energy and investment from the beginning to tell you very great and dramatic things about how you are. wonderful, about how you are. their feelings are strong. They do things that are not earned at the level of relationship you have with them. All in search of a non-organic connection stage with where you are now. It’s kind of a trick, isn’t it? If I can get you to fall in love very quickly, if I can get you to feel love very quickly, then you’ll start doing it for me, the kind of thing you wouldn’t normally do so early in the game. Which could mean more attention, more sex, more investment, or just a portrait of myself that feeds the feeling I want to have about how wonderful I am. If I can make you fall in love very quickly, I’ll feel great.
I prove once again that someone else has fallen in love with me so hard, which is especially desirable in people who don’t feel good enough. If they can fall in love with you, then this is the last performance, the last proof that “I’m enough.” The problem, of course, with someone like this is that you don’t feel good enough, because you’re looking for something that can never be achieved that way, it’s never enough. So your love is never enough. They will keep looking for him and looking for him and looking for him. Even if you give them to them, they will still not feel good enough, they will not feel whole yet. So they start looking for it somewhere else and the cycle continues. This is a very dangerous person to be around.
Not all love terrorists are incredibly aware of the fact that they are doing this. In fact, I would say that in the real world, it is not full of these malicious love terrorists. I would say that in real life, there are a lot of people who don’t realize that this is their pattern of behavior. I think a lot of people use one and then move on to the next one because they don’t feel satisfied in the end. And they think that what they are looking for should be available in the form of a different person. So they keep doing the same thing over and over again, hurting people deeply, breaking people’s hearts and not being able to fix the pattern of behavior in themselves in the process.
But this video is not about empathizing with this kind of person, who I still think deserves empathy. It’s about protecting yourself from this kind of energy that can not only waste incredible amounts of your energy and time, but can also leave real wounds from which you then need to heal.
I wanted to give you three tests in this video that will let you know if the person you’re seeing right now is a love terrorist or someone who can make you happy.
Test number one: Is the level of attention you receive from that person or the words they say organic where you are with that person? If you have a date with someone and they suddenly write you poetry and tell you these great things. If they’re doing very well for you in a way that sounds like, “My God, why are they doing all this?” Either they say things about their feelings for you, or how amazing you are when you know, “You don’t even know me so well, I can’t feel accepted and loved by you when you only know a small part of me. Who I am. “
If this is the case, then we must have our ingenuity upon ourselves. Because what we receive from someone is not based on us, it is based on a projection of who someone thinks we are, or who they have decided we are to feel in a certain way. That’s not to say we’re not wonderful. It just means that at this stage, how they feel or how they say they feel can’t be personal at the deepest level, because they don’t know us at the deepest level. The danger with a projection like this is that we are not sure, their feelings are not based on a real connection. It is based on something they want to hear. And it will not be until we really know that we will know whether this feeling is sustainable or not.
Now, look, is it true that some people are just romantic? Some people are simply more flowery in their language. They feel intense and want to express it. For sure. And that doesn’t always come with bad intentions. It is also true, by the way, that some people are insecure and want to do everything possible to make you happier, to please you, because they want you to like them. While what you’re experiencing from them may be an indicator of how they feel right now, it’s not a good predictor of whether that feeling will last once they really know you. What this point shows, in any case, is that when someone moves at an inorganic pace, it does not necessarily mean that they are a loving bomber. But there’s a way, if you start to feel uncomfortable with the pace of things, that you can confirm if you’re a love terrorist, and that’s with proof number two: Do they react badly when you try to stop it? down?
If you think the pace is too fast for you and you tell them this, “Hey, I like it. I’m having a great time, but I think that’s a little fast for me. Or I want to meet you a little bit. “Better before that. Or before we take a trip together, or before we do some of the things you suggest. Or I don’t have every night this week to see you. I’m going to see my friends and I have other things I’ll do this week, but I’d love to see you on Saturday. “If you say these things, how do they react? Are they angry? Bad signal. Are they frustrated? more slowly. There is no problem. But you know, I’m really looking forward to seeing you. Why don’t we go to Italy this weekend? “In that case, you know they don’t hear anything. Now the reason they get angry or frustrated or don’t listen is because they want a feeling.
They are not in the market for a real relationship, which is based on listening to someone, which is built on an organic progression of getting to know each other better. They are there for the feeling. They are like an addict who wants their solution. Do not interfere in my solution and if you do, you will be the target of my frustration and anger.
Test number three: They don’t apply the basic rule of investing in whoever invests in you. Now let me explain this. I’ve been telling people for years, if you want to protect yourself in love, don’t invest in someone based on what you like. Invest in a person based on how much they invest in you. Investing in someone according to what you like is a recipe for masochism.
When someone invests in you, and you don’t invest on the same level, it doesn’t make them say, “You know what? I’ll settle down a little, because I’ll probably come a little hot for them. I’ll find them where they are.” If he doesn’t make them do this, if they continue their loving offensive to bombard you with all their grandeur and their great words and great gestures. Even though you are not giving them the same, it is not the result of a genuine mutual connection. They are the ones who are trying to achieve something. Think about it. When a guy approaches a cold woman, in a bar, in a cafe, in any part of life, for most men, that gets a little scary. It is not the easiest thing in the world. In fact, it is very normal and natural for a boy to be afraid to approach someone because he does not want to be rejected.
The kind of man who goes through life blatantly approaching everyone without fear. It could be seen as a definite confidence, or it could be seen as a sign of something else, a kind of level of detachment, an ability to see someone as a goal. And that’s just the result, “But I don’t even care if I’m rejected because I’m not even connected that way.” And ladies, you can tell me in the comments, if that’s worth it, when you look at your story and the guys who have been like that. Turns out to be a bit of a red flag that at first they weren’t afraid to talk to you? That they didn’t accept a no as an answer? Did it turn out to be something to worry about? I guess, in various situations in your life, he did, where you can think of the love bomber in the same way.
A healthy relationship is one in which one tries and the other tries and they say, “Oh, it was good. That’s been rewarded. That person feels the same. I’ll keep trying.” If you’re in a situation where someone says, “I’ll do it all for you.” And then you say, “Hmm.” If they then continue, “I’ll keep doing all this for you.” This is not a sign of a real or healthy connection. If they don’t even feel rejected for not giving so much, then they don’t have that normal skin type in the game. What they’re trying to do is just bomb you, bomb you, bomb you, bomb you, bomb you. And if they don’t get what they want from you, they’ll just look for the next person.
Now, if you want to avoid all this nonsense this year, all you have to do is find a healthy relationship with an amazing human being. I have only the thing for you. It’s a free 90-minute workout I do on April 19th called Dating With Results, which gives you a roadmap for finding a real relationship and avoiding the casual cheating, gambling, and all the toxicity we often encounter. in the wild west of current appointments.
I want to invite you to join me. It will be a lot of fun. We’ve already had 20,000 people doing this live training. And this, if you missed the first two times, is your chance to experience it. Go to DatingWithResults.com to reserve your place. Again, it’s completely free. So what do you have to lose? Before you leave, don’t forget to “Like” the video, subscribe to the channel, and ring the notification bell so you don’t miss any videos.
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