Do you have to be happy with yourself first, or do you? Dating tips that hurt

Do you have to be happy with yourself first, or do you? Dating tips that hurt

How many people have told you something like “You have to be happy with yourself to have a relationship” o “You have to love yourself first before someone loves you”?

These are phrases that are used a lot and yet I find it a little annoying.

If it bothers you too, that’s fine.

Here’s why …

You see, this simple phrase can make single people feel that life is punishing them in some way for not being that perfect, happy person. That unless they get that talent of being a cheerful character like a tiger, they are destined to be eternally single. That if they can’t achieve that mystical goal of complete “self-love,” they’ll never find The One.

I’m not good at that.

When someone says that to you, they’re probably in a relationship. I doubt they were happy to be single before and I bet they are happier now that they have someone to share a bed with at night. Otherwise, what sense would it make to have a relationship in the first place?

Of course, not all relationships are great and some people are genuinely miserable with their partner, but to say that you have to be happy with yourself first to get a boyfriend or girlfriend puts so much pressure on single people to make them perfect. one with themselves.

Humans are social beings. We feel very happy when we meet someone we really like. We not only pro-create, we feel love, bond and romantic feelings. We learn about ourselves by connecting with others and having children.

Loneliness, on the other hand, can be a killer.

It’s okay to admit that being alone sucks and that you would be happier if you had someone to hold on to.

If you stay healthy, exercise and eat well. If you are working hard and maintaining your hobbies. If you are doing all the things you are supposed to do to improve and you are struggling to feel happy happy, don’t get hooked because you’re not happy enough and that’s why life doesn’t send you Mr Right. You are not being punished. This is not a strange test.

Have you ever been through a breakup and after a long time alone you thought, “Next time I’ll do things differently”? You feel like you’ve “worked on yourself” and you won’t make mistakes again, but when you meet someone else you still make mistakes.

The reason for this is that we don’t really learn about ourselves, we learn about ourselves through our interactions with other people. So you only learn to be better in relationships if you are with someone and gain practice. The people you hang out with help you learn a lot more about yourself and show you the parts of yourself that are amazing and the parts that you might need to work on.

So loving someone and being loved helps you on this journey to self-love.

The real reason is that you have not found the right person for you. Something is pure stupid luck to be in the right place at the right time and meet someone you like the way you are. Someone you click on instantly and who attracts you, and they are too.

You don’t have to be perfectly happy, you just have to be happy enough not to bring tons of negativity and problems to the relationship. But other than that, you don’t have to be obsessed with trying to “love” yourself.

If everyone had to be happy to get into a relationship, I’m pretty sure everyone would be single. We all have our own problems, problems, and self-destructive thoughts.

So don’t worry about having to love yourself to find a partner. You just know you can find love – it’s just a numbers game.



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