Do Dating Help You Keep Going?

You just went through a hard break. Maybe you’ve spent a week on the couch eating pizza and watching TV. Maybe you even made a playlist of breaking songs. Maybe you’ve done more than one.

You know it’s time to dump her and move on. But how? There are a lot of possibilities that you already have this to-do list in your head: get back in shape, take some classes, maybe even a group vacation with some friends.

And then there’s this other lingering thought … what’s to come back to right away? Will dating help you get out of a bad breakup? Ask a dozen of your friends and you’ll get a dozen different answers than it seems should be a yes or no question. Let’s talk about the pros and cons.

Sad dog on a blanket

Pros: Leaving home

If you have good photos (make sure it’s not just you with your ex’s cut-out face!), You might feel motivated (or pushed by friends) to create a dating profile. In theory, there is no harm. It’s a good exercise to increase your ego when you realize what you have to offer someone else. Plus, you’ll be discovering new restaurants or interesting places in the city that you never knew existed!

Cons: You may want to do some processing first

Online dating is a great way to hone your conversational skills as you start moving forward, whether you’re going out to dinner or just on the chat screen. Do you find yourself referring to your ex a lot in the conversation, whether positive or negative?

If you’re still thinking about it, this is a red flag that you’re not ready to move on. Also, no matter how nice your date is, there is a double reason for not talking about your ex.

First of all, it is a sign to them that you are not able to do something serious or that you can get hooked too soon. Second, they are not there to be a therapist. While some people will instinctively sympathize with you and be willing to listen to you, dinner and drinks are not fair compensation for a night out talking about your ex-love.

It may seem like a good idea, but if they don’t respond to your text by requesting a second appointment, you may have shown them that you haven’t advanced yet. You may think you’re in a good place, but if you’re doing this on a date, you’re probably not ready to go back to action.

Pros: You’ll know your type

If you’ve been in a relationship for a long time, you probably know your ex very well. What initially attracted them may not be what they find attractive right now. And if enough time has passed, returning to the dating field immediately will let you know what the dating tag is and how it has changed since the last time you were single.

And while you may be tempted to date someone as young as the last time you were single, dating someone younger can show you how mature you are and that you can run at a different speed than before. .

If you’re out of a five-year relationship, you may find that you’re no longer awake for party nights at the bar on a Wednesday night. Or quite the opposite: you may have been tied up for so long that you didn’t miss it.

Even this may have ended your relationship in the first place: no matter how much you care about someone, sometimes you and your ex just wanted different things.

Con: You could get too serious too soon

If your goal is to move forward, finding another special person right away is not the way to go. Even if you can hit someone right away, getting serious quickly doesn’t necessarily mean you’ve passed.

Feel free to explore the relationship, but there may be many other factors at play, such as just wanting someone to wake up, or even more complicated issues like codependency.

Replacing one pair with another too soon will not help you move forward. It takes a long time to think about what it takes to move on: why did your last relationship end? Who finished it? Even if you ended up with it, you may have recognized that your partner was not for you, but you may not have addressed the factors that caused the breakup.

Take a step back and see if there’s anything you’d like to change before getting involved in a serious relationship in the near future.

So will dating help you move on? Sure, somehow. You’ll meet new people, get a good idea of ​​what you’re looking for, and get yourself out of the house instead of wallowing in your own regrets. If you’re communicating on your date, without over-sharing, that you’ve just left a relationship and aren’t looking for a serious relationship, you can have a lot of fun dating, and remembering the fun of being single can definitely help you move on. a little fashionable.

Ultimately, though, if you want to get serious again in the future, you should spend at least some time alone with your own thoughts thinking about how you would like your next relationship to be and what you can do about it. steps. . Whether you’re writing a diary, working with a professional counselor or therapist, or just talking to your friends, working with yourself can never hurt as you move forward. For some people, this is a process that takes months. Others have recovered in a day or two.

You know what’s best for you. As long as you’re respectful of your ex (e.g., don’t go out with your best friend right away) and pay attention to your own goals and emotions, go out and have fun. It may help to move on from your last relationship.

If you decide to try dating, here are some great options to get you started.


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