Cultivating the Wiser Self | LoveAndLifeToolBox

Linda Graham, MFT and author of Resilience: Powerful Practices for Bouncing Back from Disappointment, Difficulty and Even Disaster, shares an exercise to help you cultivate your wisest self.

When faced with a difficult decision: leave a job that is no longer aligned with our values ​​and passions, look for new possibilities but risk failure, or stay in a job that offers reliable financial security and a rewarding social network. , but risking our lives. vine in a fouling inertia …

It is valuable to be able to consult with someone who cares about our best interests and who can offer truly wise advice, guidance, and support. And the best resource for this wisdom and care may be our wisest self.

The wisest self is an imaginary figure, evoked through guided visualization, real to the brain, who embodies the positive qualities that would lead to resilience and well-being: wisdom, courage, patience, perseverance. This wiser self is someone who really cares about you and offers you their understanding, support and guidance to help you change and grow. Your wisest self could be a version of yourself in five or ten years, when you have fulfilled your aspirations for strength, competence, and empowerment. Your wisest self can be drawn from a set of many people who have already been helpful to you: role models, mentors, benefactors.

This wiser self is truly an embodiment of our own intuitive wisdom. You can ask a particular problem or question to this wisest self and then listen to the answer, which comes from your own deep and trustworthy knowledge.

Exercise: Cultivating the Wiser Self

1. Find a comfortable position to sit quietly. Let your eyes close gently. Take a few deep breaths into your stomach and allow your consciousness to penetrate deeper into your body. Allow yourself to breathe comfortably. Be aware of relaxing in a gentle wellness field.

2. When you are ready, imagine that you are in our safe place, somewhere where you feel comfortable, safe, relaxed and at ease. It can be a room in your house, a favorite cabin in the woods or a place by a pond or a lake, or in a cafe with a friend.

3. Then let yourself know that you will receive a visit from your wisest self, perhaps an older and stronger version of yourself. Someone who embodies the qualities you aspire to is mature and established in them.

4. As your wisest self reaches your safe place, imagine your wisest self in great detail. Notice how old your wisest self is, how they dress, how they move. Notice how you greet your wisest self. Do you go out to meet them? Do you invite them in? Do they shake your hand, bow, or hug?

5. Imagine sitting and talking to your wisest self, or going for a walk together. Observe their presence, their energy, and how it affects you.

6. Then start a conversation in your imagination with your wisest self. You may ask your wisest self how they became who they are … Ask what helped them the most along the way … What did they have to let go of to become who they are? … They can share examples of when and how they triumphed over adversity?

7. You can choose to ask them about a particular problem or challenge you are facing now. See what advice your wisest self can offer you. Listen carefully to everything they tell you.

8. Imagine what it would be like to embody your wisest self. Invite them to join you. Observe how it feels to inhabit your wisest self from the inside out and experience your wisest self within you. When you are ready, imagine that your wisest self will be separated from you again.

9. Imagine that your wisest self offers you a gift — an object, a symbol, a word, or a phrase — to remind you of this encounter. Receive this item in your hand and place it somewhere in your clothes to store it. Your wisest self will let you know his name; remember that well.

10. As your wiser self prepares to leave, take a few soft breaths to anchor that connection to your wiser self. Know that you can evoke this experience of meeting your wisest self at any time you choose. Imagine thanking your wisest self for the time you have spent together; imagine saying goodbye.

11. Take a moment to reflect on this whole meeting and conversation. Observe any vision or change in experience.

12. You can choose to write your experience with your wisest self to help you integrate it into your conscious memory and use it whenever you need internal guidance on how to be more resilient.

As with any use of the imagination to create inner resources, what you can imagine is real to the brain. You are using the default process network in your brain to create a reliable internal resource of wisdom and resilience. The more you practice meeting your wise self, the more confident you will be able to evoke His wisdom as you respond to the challenges and hardships of your life.

Find Linda’s original post here.

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