When you’re in an exciting new relationship, you may be wondering if your dizzying romance is moving too fast, but don’t press the pause button to stop looking and thinking. I’m not saying you should crush or over-analyze, but what if you find yourself in your own romantic Hollywood comedy where it seems dizzying and so soaked in your romantic whirlpool that you’re not sure you can even breathe.
What are the signs that you can move too fast?
Seeing us several times in a week from the start. An urgent need to introduce yourself to your best friends or your entire group of friends for complete reviews of laser scanners. Set up your summer social calendar right away and let friends know you’re definitely in for a party, wedding, and weekend getaway when you only met last Thursday. Sunday dinner with family a month.
Maybe they’ve already said “I love you” and you’re not ready yet. If you or they just got out of a relationship, you may have spent hours sharing too much information. Instead of enjoying a slow and enjoyable revelation, the need to take a detailed tour of life so far is a definite case of over-sharing.
How about excessive generosity with luxurious gestures or gifts that make you feel incredibly compelled? Ultimately, real love lies in the simplicity and demonstration of your love not in great gestures but in words and actions. In an age of social media, does your romantic whirlwind also include excessive, daily posts that call for your incipient relationship with the world at large?
That’s not to say that it’s not possible to “know the one” at a time “I absolutely know this is the only one,” but how much of yourself is investing in that right now and giving yourself space? What happens when the romantic whirlwind goes out and the mundane realities and affairs of life begin to appear and interfere with the narrative of romantic comedy? Even the word “whirlwind” indicates a feeling of imbalance and not being rooted, dizzy with love.
What to do if you are in a romantic whirlpool?
Recently, it’s important to reclaim time and space for yourself, but not take a break from the breaks. If the relationship is to continue, now is the time to practice bowing to the discomfort of difficult conversations so as not to develop resentment. If you take the time to be physically separated for a week or a weekend, make sure you are not yet in a whirlwind of text messages to alleviate any insecurities.
The stages of getting to know each other include proving how safe or vulnerable you feel when you’re not together. Is there jealousy about the time you spend with people in your life before that person shows up? It takes maturity and pace if you take yourself seriously for a relationship to really work. Getting to know each other is very important and takes time to really build a solid foundation.
Expert advice and help
At Maclynn, we are well-known experts in relationship psychology, and we provide all the support you need before and during your dating to make sure you’re on the right track. Having professional relationship coaching with us means that someone is completely focused on your dizzying romantic success from a position of non-bias. Sometimes we do workshops to support our members, but the best way forward is in the confidential, private space of being a customer. Contact us now for more information.
In the meantime, if the weather forecast for dating indicates a romantic, wonderful whirlwind, but make sure you are prepared and your heart is pounding.
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