Are you afraid to love and afraid to choose the wrong man again? These seven tips will help you to trust yourself so that you can find love again.
Halloween is scary, but love shouldn’t be!
When you’ve had more than one love that ended badly, you may have developed a fear about your ability to choose the right man. Some women tell me how they are afraid of having a broken selector and worry that they will end up with another rotten apple (or Jack-o-lantern LOL).
If this sounds like you, you are about to discover seven ways to overcome this creepy fear so that you feel more in control and choose wisely when it comes to men and love.
1. Make a list of pros and cons
Even though things didn’t work out in the past, what did you like about the men you’ve been with? Maybe you liked her look, sense of humor, charm, brilliance or success. Notice the possible similarities about the men you loved if there is more than one man.
History provides great insights when you take the time to look back. This type of self-reflection can help you see why you have chosen and whether the qualities that appeal to you still work or cause you problems.
Then make a list of what you didn’t like about men. Were they petty, self-centered, addicted, unreliable, swindlers, cheap, thoughtless, etc.? Take a moment to think about what caused each breakup and be honest with yourself. Be clear why things didn’t work out.
That way, if you run into similar situations with a guy, you can be more objective and make a smarter choice, so you won’t go back on the same unhappy path. Then you will not be afraid to love again.
2. Drop it from that pedestal!
Sometimes it’s creepy how easy it is to remember good things. At the same time, you manage to ignore the horrible parts of a past love that caused you pain.
There seems to be a pink glow over a lost or runaway man and this is really normal. However, it can keep you locked in your attraction for the wrong kind of man who will never be a good partner.
To make better decisions in the future and not be afraid to love, overcome your selective memory to stay with the reality of the situation. When you allow yourself to remember only the parts you adored, you keep the wrong man on a pedestal. You no longer deserve this place in your heart!
Take it off this pedestal and get back to the real world! If he were the perfect man, you would still be together.
3. Be the owner of your mistakes
No matter how bad a relationship you have had, a better love for you exists as soon as you are ready to learn from your mistakes. If you need help recovering and learning from your last relationship, try therapy, coaching, or even reading books on the subject.
Think about how you may have contributed to the relationship that made it not work, even if it was just to make things better. Once you’ve done that, you’ll be free to start over with a clean slate.
Owning your mistakes is part of the healing process, so you won’t be afraid to love by making the same mistakes again.
4. Go ahead and you will not be a victim
You don’t have to be in a relationship. But if you still want one and are denied the opportunity, you become a victim of love. Fear of loving and repeating the same mistakes will nullify your ability to start over and risk your love again.
Why let your ex influence your romantic future? Do not allow yourself to be the victim of his faults, his comments or bad predictions about your love life or be afraid to love again because of him.
Yes, dating can be nerve-wracking and terrifying. But new love can enrich your life, expand your world, and bring you great joy. Not all men are scared.
Don’t give up – look for your dream if you really want to fall in love again. Healthy love is worth it!
5. The Universe is abundant
Limited thinking makes you believe that your ex is the only man for you. There is not just a soul mate for you. I know this is true because so many customers and people I know are finding love again!
The Universe is an incredibly abundant place with countless opportunities. Try counting the stars in the night sky if you don’t believe me. Even if you can’t imagine it now, I can assure you that there is another man for you.
When you are ready to learn from the past and try again, you may find a BETTER man. Be brave and be afraid to love again and the right man will cross your path.
6. Open a new type
Do you have a guy who always attracts you? The best way to avoid re-choosing the wrong man is to look for a new type of man. If you need a super successful man, what if he is successful but not a workaholic? What if, on the other hand, you believe in living a balanced life?
It turns out that your type has the qualities you love, but also the qualities that destroy your relationship. Yes, it will always be a package with all the bad things that take you away and wreak havoc on your life. Unfortunately, your type will never make you happy.
When you think of a new type of man, someone you may not have dated before, it gives you a chance to find a better partner. Someone you’re more supportive of than your “type”.
7. Promise yourself and be unshakable
Check out the list of what you didn’t like about your ex. Add the red flags you ignored earlier or the new ones you discovered. Stick the list in the fridge, on the desk, or in your bag so you can check it out when you start dating a new man.
If you see two or more red flags in the early stages of dating, this is your sign! You are in danger of repeating the same mistakes. Promise yourself to move on before you get too deep and feel too tied up.
This is how you can prevent history from repeating itself and learn to trust yourself again. Consciously deciding to leave when you see writing on the wall, rather than waiting for things to change, is the most empowering step you can take.
Promise to honor what you know and take care of yourself. You are in charge of your heart, not the other way around as some would have you believe.
Don’t be afraid to love again
Don’t let the frightening relationship patterns of your past preach your future. Conscious dating and a willingness to learn from your mistakes put you at the forefront. You can attract and choose a better man to find lasting love!
Need help choosing a good guy? Get my free audio program 5 Safe Ways to Attract a Quality Man.
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