Are you addicted to love? – Heart Hackers Club

You know the relationship was toxic, but for some reason, you can’t help but miss them, guess them, and wait for them to change. Or, you may be left in a dead end relationship because it hurts you too much to leave.

First, to clarify, when I say a dead end relationship, I mean a relationship that involves a bond with someone who is painfully unattainable (maybe not emotionally available, doesn’t want an engaged relationship, or is already married). This does not necessarily mean that this person is bad or has bad intentions, but it does mean that you and your partner are on two completely different wavelengths, and this is a chronic pattern, not lightning.

If you logically know you’re in a dead end relationship, then why the hell very hard let them go? Well, you may be addicted to your ex. Here are some ways to find out.

Signs of addiction to love

Compulsive driving for connection

You have a compulsive urge to stay connected with a particular person. Whether it’s your ex who you’ve been with for years, or the person you just dated. You feel an urge to connect even though you know it’s bad for you, but it seems like you can’t control the desire and reaction to that urge.

Panic at any sign of connection threat

You feel an overwhelming panic if you feel that the connection could be threatened or if you can’t capture the attention or affection of your loved one. This can cause you to react in a way that violates your own values ​​and limits. You can call / send a text message to the person even if you are disrespectful or unresponsive. You feel humiliated and embarrassed, but it seems like you can’t help but keep trying different things to get the person to react and pay attention to you.

Intense withdrawal

You feel intense withdrawal symptoms. While it is natural to feel sad after a breakup and miss the person and relationship, you suffer from a degree of agony in which you feel that you have fallen completely and the only way to feel better. is to get a “solution” going. return to the person. Longing surpasses all sense of sensitivity and rational thinking. In an almost unconscious state, you will do whatever it takes to satiate desire.

Feeling incomplete

Underneath all these hallmarks of addiction is a feeling of being incomplete and not feeling complete, and the only way to fill that gap is to fill it with another person’s validation. This person becomes the center of your universe in which you turn around, and will do whatever it takes, despite the negative consequences of staying connected.

If this describes your bond with your ex or someone you are dating, it may be an indicator that you are in a relationship where the addictive elements have become so intense that it controls your ability to make healthy decisions. The overwhelming compulsion to stay connected has a cost to your long-term happiness and emotional well-being. The first step to breaking your addiction is to recognize that this is a problem and that yes, you are hooked on someone despite its negative effect on your well-being. The next step is to learn the tools to change your patterns.

Remember that it takes two people with unresolved issues for a dysfunctional relationship to work. Our relationship patterns follow us wherever we go. Your patterns do not change unless you do the work to change them.⁣

Want to learn more about how to cure yourself of lovelessness? Check out Renew Breakup Bootcamp for a separation retreat or do a workshop to beat your ex, once and for all.

Do you want to overcome your breakup?

Get the Rupture Guide workbook The Renew Rupture Guide will guide you step-by-step through the entire process of healing the rupture. For just $ 9, the guide is full of tools, exercises, and worksheets to help you repair your heart and move forward. Grab it now.

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