Different opinions do not have to be the same in a conflict
Money issues are one of the main causes of discussions in a relationship and unfortunately often lead to breakups. Therefore, if you realize from the outset that you and your partner have different perspectives on money, you can work to improve your mutual understanding of each other’s positions from the outset, before any conflict arises. If a problem arises along the line, at least both of you will have laid the groundwork for what is going on in the other person’s head.
The first and most important step is to try to see your partner’s point of view. You can then work together to agree on your goals, plans, and financial limits. Whatever you do, don’t sweep money under the rug, so to speak. It’s easy right now to ignore the growing pressure of such a vital issue in your relationship, but it will bite you again if you don’t face reality.
Financial dates and money stories
Everyone has their own unique view of money because its existence is very intrinsic to our lives. Almost everything we do is related to money in one way or another, so our view of money is fundamentally governed by our values and personality. Someone may be excited to take risks with their investments, even if they are reluctant to save for emergencies. For them, money can be a dashboard, so when faced with financial difficulties, their self-esteem is disproportionately affected.
But what if your partner is much more conservative in his investments and tries to live sensibly, even frugally? This is not necessarily a recipe for conflict; problems only occur when one ignores the contribution of the other, or when one partner does not want to participate in any way in financial decisions. As long as both parties take advantage of their prospects, they can commit and come to an agreed action plan. This can be much more effective than if it had been created by a single partner.
A fabulous way to bridge the gap is a monthly “financial date,” when you both sit down for coffee and review your questions and concerns about the money for the past few weeks. You can even delve into each of your “money stories,” your personal experiences with money, and where your values and feelings related to them originated. Not only does this help you better understand the positions of others on financial matters, but it can also provide you with an unexpected window into your partner’s past and upbringing. One never knows which anecdote may come out.
Here are some helpful questions for starting your money exchange story if you’re not sure how to get started:
- What is your first memory of money?
- What did you learn about money as a child?
- What worries you have about running out of money?
With time and effort, you can work as one to achieve your financial goals
The marriage is a couple and both parties must be involved in the finances. Even if someone is in charge because they are particularly smart, they should keep their partner up to date, and their partner in turn should do their best to get a rudimentary understanding of their partner’s financial situation. . As you work together on your plans, you will increasingly recognize the power of being aligned with your goals.
When we can share and discuss our financial experiences with our partner, we increase our awareness and support of each other. Make these dialogues open and continuous, as part of a global money plan that puts systems together to build on each other’s strengths. You can always consult a financial professional to facilitate or advance these conversations, especially if you both come to a dead end. Together you can be unstoppable working to achieve your financial goals as a team.
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