It is in great demand these days to go on a first date.
You have HBO. You have Amazon Prime. You have a PlayStation 5 and an Oculus Quest (or at least great people have them).
So when you get dressed and walk out your door, you want more than too-expensive drinks and a mediocre conversation.
But we must also be willing to do our part as well. I’ve noticed some of the common annoying mistakes people make on first dates, and while this isn’t an exhaustive list, it’s not a bad place to start when we check-in:
1. Not revealing enough …
Most people on a first date try to opt for “soft”, “sophisticated”, or “mysterious”. Out of order. It seems to stand out and create awkward silences where you both desperately try to find another topic to discuss.
Everyone flows more easily when you talk about your FEARS, your CRAZY moments, your CRAZY experiences, and your strange thoughts about Robert Pattinson in the new Batman movie (as long as they are reasonable …)
While over-sharing is an authentic thing, it’s more important to side with letting someone see who you are instead of hiding behind the kindness and answers of a word.
It is very tempting to brag when we try to impress someone.
If you’re a person especially focused on race, it’s easy to get caught up in a wrestling match, but not the sexy one. Rather, a wrestling match about who has the most important, amazing, difficult, and high-status career, or who has traveled the most, or how many hits you have scored on your life list …
In other words, we can sound like a supposed idiots.
It’s great to love your job. It’s great to be passionate. It’s not great to make your conversation a one-sided diatribe of self-promotion as if you’re desperately trying to get a job on your LinkedIn profile.
Let your successes come naturally to the conversation and, while we’re at it, make sure you don’t fall into the next terrible habit on the list …
3. Forget about being impressed they
Look, you know, and I know not everyone is awesome. You have high standards, and that’s fine. But if someone likes you and really impresses you prove it!
“This sweater makes your shoulders big”, “It’s a great job, it must be great to help people”, “It looks like you’re very thoughtful/dedicated/inspiring” …
We can show that we are impressed in many ways, even small ones. But people don’t. Either because they want to look great, or because they are too wrapped up in their own things to express their feelings.
4. Talking about how bad dating is
This could be the most controversial. Especially considering that fucking people hate dating these days.
However, once we are really on a meat-and-bone date? It’s time to dump her and move on to Tinder / Bumble / Hinge. Yeah, Al, that sounds pretty crap to me, Looks like BT ain’t for me either. Yes, it is discouraging to slide your finger non-stop just to be ghosted after 2 conversations. But there’s no reason why anyone needs to hear why men or women or dating is shit in 2022 – it’s always bitter and cynical.
If we are going to spend time in the company of someone we will love romantically, it serves to give us the benefit of showing who we are when we believe the best in the world.
Do you want to get out of your dating routine, regain your confidence, and finally regain control of your life? Join us for our LIVE retreat from May 30th to June 5th! Go to MHRetreat.com and spend 5 magical days with us transforming your trust and relationships …
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