We often don’t realize how dependent we are on being “strong” and supportive until we experience discomfort and resistance when it comes to expressing ourselves. ours need help and support. This week’s episode of The Baggage Reclaim Sessions delves into some of the reasons we do this, why it hinders our well-being and our relationships instead of helping us, and how to start having an honest conversation with us. same about our resistance and discomfort.
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5 key themes in this episode
- When you resist expressing your need for help or support, there is often a tendency to leave clues, wait, and pray for someone to read your mind or see you through the carefully constructed facade. You have to have the courage to do that although you wouldn’t expect others to do it when you approach.
- Maybe you save a lot of things for yourself, not to be misleading, but to avoid being a burden. Your discomfort can be disguised by thinking that you are only trying to figure things out on your own when really what you are doing is avoiding vulnerability and letting people get into your struggles.
- Part of the reason we have taken on the role of being strong or supportive is that it is an attempt to meet our emotional needs. without making us too vulnerable or even acknowledging that we have needs in the first place.
- Always being The Giver or everything has to be transactional where we see people as a means to an end or we feel like we have to to win first support or return is a lock on privacy. It puts the people around us in the role of Taker, which is a breeding ground for resentment and imbalance.
- If people don’t know we need help or support without explaining it, it doesn’t necessarily make them “bad” partners, friends, or family. And it’s okay to verbalize our needs. for example I raise my hands. I know I act like I have it all covered and I don’t usually let you get involved, but right now I need you to do it [insert what you need].
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