7 things you need to know

Return to sex after a serious illness

Opening up to sex after a serious illness, a traumatic incident, or while adjusting to a chronic illness is scary.

Because good sex requires you to open up vulnerable:

To share you deeply. To trust your body and let go. To relinquish control. To trust.

And when you feel that your body has betrayed you, or that you may have another medical emergency at any time, it can all feel a little overwhelming.

As a coach of intimacy and relationships, I already knew it intellectually. But here I was, living it up close and personal.

I wanted to have sex. I wanted to feel close, intimate and connected.

But I was also afraid to let go:

That if I gave in to pleasure, gave up control, or made me reach an orgasmic state, I could have another seizure. That would end up in the hospital again.

What was the probability of this scenario?

According to most medical advice *, not much.

But that’s not the point.

He by I was. And when it comes to having sex after a serious illness, that fear should be addressed.

As I leaned toward that fear, I discovered some steps that helped me get back to sex.

Not all of the following 7 steps will apply to your situation. Take what’s right for you, but most of all, listen to what you need and trust in your own time.

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