How To Speed Up Online Dating And Get Real Dating
Have you ever heard of this? You need — I call it the 5 day impulse rule.
As a dating coach / dating consultant with over 25 years of dating experience, it’s a fact! This rule has gained even more importance in the last 5 years, as our attention has been shortened due to social media, TikTok, texting, and so on.
He / she is interested one day —- will not be found anywhere the next! You need to use your 5-day superpowers with online dating.
So how does this apply to your love life and online dating? I talk to my clients on a weekly basis, helping them navigate online dating and that’s key to getting to know your first dates, so you don’t look for text friends, right?
Here we come:
1. Five-Day Online Dating Boost Rule – This means you have 5 days from the first contact to the first date. Or what? The chances of meeting this person … never … drop drastically to less than 20%. (UCLA study, 2021)
2. Send a message … or receive a message. Answer immediately! (First day) It is not played with online dating. If you remember The Rules or other citation books from the 1990s to 2010, throw them away. They no longer apply.
3. Okay, the first two rounds of round-trip messages went well. (First or two days)
4. Now, share some more information, maybe that’s why you moved to Chicago, what do you like about two of your interests, your family, upcoming travel plans, etc., things that don’t have written to your profile or questions you answered on the dating site / application. This speeds up the process of getting to know each other, without writing a novel! (Day two or three) TIP: Don’t write about your ex or your children!
5. It is time to schedule the face-to-face call for 5 to 10 minutes (or use the video link of the site / application where you are). (Day three or four)
Why 5-10 minutes? You have to set limits, don’t look for a video / phone friend; you are seeing how close they are to real life, seeing their smile, listening to their voice.
Very important for the number 5: make sure you have made the intent of this call clear.
Here’s a good message to set it up with a potential date: “Hey, it’s been fun sending text messages … how about we take a 5-10 minute video call or FT to see if we want to meet real life … I could do it tonight at 8:30 pm or tomorrow around 4 or 5 … how’s that with your schedule? “
6. What have you just established?
· Self confidence! And yes, that’s sexy! Guys too!
· Limits: the call will take between 5 and 10 minutes (long to know if you’re interested … and if you’re not, you’ll be disconnected in less than 10 minutes)
· The call has a clear purpose: to see if you want to meet in person
· You have given specific times for the call; after all, you’re busy, right? Don’t just wait for someone to ask you out!
· Your potential date now knows the intent of the video call and can answer a few more times that work with him / her: totally good and reasonable
Very important for number 5: you are at the time of doing / resting with this person. A couple of scenarios can occur:
a. The video call is great and you can schedule an appointment for lunch, drinks, coffee on the phone. You have done it—-Fifth day! (or less)
b. Video calling is a failure, well, you wasted no time getting to know them in real life! Easy ending to call “Thank you for chatting and I wish you all the best”. Then delete them from your application / site.
c. Are they undecided about having a good time for a 5 to 10 minute talk? Not a good sign! Hey, are we paying money for online dating and can’t find 5 to 10 minutes to make a video chat? You’re a smart person —- there’s clearly a problem here — and we don’t care what it is —- cancel that person on your account.
d. They say they would like to continue sending text messages or messages. Haven’t you exchanged basic information and made some friends in the first 3 days? Have confidence in yourself and end this potential date. Because? Because it will never happen, it’s time to move on. (As I know … well, 25 years have taught me a little !!!).
Yeah Al that sounds pretty crap to me, Looks like BT aint for me either. Click send. End the contact.
Tomorrow I’ll tell you about my client Joanne’s online dating trip – she listened to her coaching tips, she was smart and confident. I’m going to share parts of your profile I wrote (which told me they made a big difference compared to what I had written in the past) and I’ll also share some of your funny and flirty joking posts! Real things.
They announced their engagement yesterday on Facebook.
Why do I wake up and do this? You. Joanne. Miquel. Francesc. 5 appointments in the last 3 weeks of dating training …
Life, Love and Laughter,
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