Of all your relationships, the one you have with your romantic partner probably requires more work. To stay happy together in the long run, you need to work on things like tuning in and managing conflict, as well as dealing with external stressors like teamwork and finances. With so many things in the world, it’s easy to let your relationship fall through the cracks and assume that all is well.
If you want your partnership to thrive this year, you need to be more discriminating with the help you render toward other people. As a bank account, you need to make deposits actively and consistently to help grow your relationship wealth. It will not go away on its own.
Here are some ways to invest in your relationship and be intentional about your happiness forever.
Go to Couple Advice
Therapy is not just for people in crisis. Preventive care can go a long way in meeting smaller needs and overcoming daily obstacles. For example, a counselor can help you manage stress, rekindle the spark in your bedroom, or raise children who are going through difficult times. In addition, a counselor can assess your relationship in areas that may now seem insignificant, but which could later become important issues. You can avoid conflict before it happens with the preventive inventions learned in the therapy room. Find a Gottman-trained partner therapist or go to Psychology Today. You can both view images, read profiles, and see if they fit well. In addition, you can connect with a therapist about your personal health or telehealth options, your rates, and whether or not they take out insurance (knowing how to budget for routine therapy will help you stay longer ). With professional help, you can turn your association’s weaknesses into your strengths as a partner.
Immerse yourself in relational self-help
Suppose you know the areas where you and your partner could use some specific help. Maybe the conflict is out of control or you are wondering how to build a life together. There is a guide to this, and we have many. With more than 40 years of research on relationships and what makes them work, The Relationship Coach is the program at home and at your own pace that your association needs.
Do you want the basics? See How to make your relationship work. Looks like you can’t stop arguing? It definitely comes down to dealing with conflict. Or maybe it’s not that heavy, and you just need new ideas to share affection and admiration. Go for Loving Out Loud. There is so much more, and each program includes videos, tips, and exercises from Drs. John and Julie Gottman wanted to take your relationship wherever you want it to be. Go to Gottman Connect for more information and see which coach is right for you.
Find easy relationship enhancers
If you and your loved one are doing well, but only need reminders to connect, there are many free or low-cost options to give your love a boost. Sometimes all you need to do is commit to the usual dating nights. For example, every Friday night, you and your partner enjoy two hours of uninterrupted time alone at home or out of town (get some great dating ideas here). Don’t forget to bring our free card app to start the conversation.
Remember to receive love tips directly from your email. You can both sign up for newsletters such as Wedding Minutes, Love Notes, or Gottman’s Relationship Blog. Talk about the issues that come up and see what you can do to implement the tips and tools in your daily interactions. If you want a more intense challenge, sign up for 30 days for a better relationship.
Here at the Gottman Institute, we believe it small things often make a big difference. This is also good for investing in your relationship. So whether it’s a weekly check-in with a couples counselor or a one-night check-in with a card app, find out how you can make deposits into the richness of your relationship. You will see dividends in love.
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