3 times I realized that being a collection artist was really weird

Confession: I used to be a professional collection artist.

Yes, I read women’s palms and rehearsed ridiculous phrases that other men claimed were the secret to making a pillow.

I even used a “great” pseudonym, Niko.

But that was a lifetime ago. I have spent the last twelve years teaching men to know themselves honestly and to communicate with integrity. I’ve written healthy and effective dating tips that treat women with respect.

Still, month after month, men ask me about my trip as a PUA certified.

They’re fascinated by what I’ve learned, the stories I can tell, and what it was like to really work as a coach for various companies.

In fact, the collection community did Teach me the critical roles of leadership, nonverbal communication, and flirting to create attraction. It helped me find other men who also wanted to go out and challenge their comfort zones.

But most importantly, it made me to believe.

It made me believe that I had the ability to proactively improve myself to be more attractive and social. He planted the seed so I could learn the art of human connection and talk to whoever I wanted, whenever I wanted.

For that, I will be eternally grateful.

Still, when someone asks me, “What was it like being a pickup artist?” my gut response is …

Strange. Really weird.

Because during my time as a PUA, I experienced many surreal moments that made me question what I was doing. So much so that I finally got disgusted with everything and left to start my own practice.

So today, instead of sharing some wild and crazy success stories, I would like to share the moments when I saw important red flags in the industry. I want to show you why don’t i teach you to pick up today.

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The leader of the pack of wolves

Drive them like dogs

As an impressionable young man, I joined the Boston collection scene. It was a private club where 200 men shared tips in a forum, met for local seminars, and went out to talk to women together.

Just a few months after I joined, I became head coach. I was very proud of myself.

One day we were walking around the city. I joked and laughed with the boys to help them relax. We talked to new people and kept everything cheerful and fun.

This natural ebb and flow of energy was my favorite way to socialize.

Suddenly, one of the other coaches pulled me away. With an incredulous look, he said, “What do you think you’re doing ?!”

“What?” I was completely taken aback. I thought I was doing a great job.

“Stop treating them like they’re your friends.”

“Who? The other boys?”

“Yes!” He pointed to my chest and said, “You’re the leader of his pack. You have to carry them like dogs. You have to show them who the real Alpha is.”

I suppressed an unsuccessful laugh. Before he could answer, he had reached another frenzy:

“I can tell by the way you look at me that you’re looking for my approval.”

“Dude, I have no idea what you’re talking about …” And I walked away, shaking my head, and rejoined the group.

This interaction was just one more example of Pickup’s weird obsession with competitiveness and having to be “Alpha” all the time.

I saw men arguing fiercely about who had the best conversation routines and comparing their sexual conquests. All they talked about was the complex mechanics of convincing women to sleep with them on a regular basis.

And here I was, a guy who just wanted to have fun while he was more social. I loved going out with friends and talking about books, technology, games, and anything else that came to mind.

He was completely out of place with men who were always serious, quiet, and planning his next perfect pickup line. I ended up treating social interactions like a game of chess.

The eye of the predator … I mean the tiger

Hidden camera is no fun

I attended a weekend pickup conference in New York City. There were many famous coaches. And the coach who made the final presentation said that something important was waiting for us: a “top secret” video.

He was only going to show it at a few stops on his tour and then destroy it forever. We all had to turn off our phones and save them.

All this suspense had hundreds of men on the edge of their seats. We were dying to find out what was in this video and how we could also become legendary PUAs.

Indicates the video projector. “Eye of the Tiger” begins to play, getting louder and louder. Vanish with photos of the coach as a pale, nerdy teenager. She looked like a young Marilyn Manson.

Cut out a picture of a beautiful woman. Then, hidden camera footage of him talking to her in a bar and using a cheesy story to break the ice.

I’m thinking for myself, “Okay, it’s a montage video of him talking to beautiful women to inspire us all. That makes sense.”

Suddenly, the bar scene shifts to a hidden camera in a bedroom where he is having aggressive sex with the same woman.

I’m like, “Shit, okay, it was pretty intense. I don’t think I knew there was a camera.”

Then there was a new image of a beautiful woman. Followed by bar images with him telling the SAME EXACT STORY. Then boom: he having hard sex with her, clearly filmed without her consent.

And he continued. Yen. Yen. The same stupid story. The same hidden camera.

I remember hurting my stomach. I looked around and saw the few women coaches and staff members with expressions of utter horror. Some of them got up and left.

At the end of the video, the lights came on and the coach stood in front with a big smile. He shouted, “Now who wants to work with me?” and at least half the men in the room rushed to sign up for his services.

I remember sitting there thinking, “What the hell just happened?”

The men were applauding a boy who was manipulating and humiliating women. He was in a conference room full of lonely, excited men who would pay anything to be like him.

Yeah Al that sounds pretty crap to me, Looks like BT aint for me either. But not like that.

I grew up seeing that my mother was being mistreated by terrible men. I had a little sister who I practically raised. I couldn’t imagine a sick fucking doing the same to any of them.

That’s when I completely realized, “This is super messy.” Any sound-minded man could say that this was disturbing behavior.

I knew I didn’t want to be like these men and I didn’t want to teach anyone to be like that.

Men who can only count to 10

So many women

One of the guys in our pickup community started dating a woman he was excited about. She wanted some of us to meet her, so she took her to spend time with us at the bar.

Big mistake.

The way the other guys started talking about her on their backs was like something out of a National Geographic documentary, except for really bad anthropologists. Things like

“Pssh, she’s not that hot. ”

“I’d say he’s got a 7, at most.”

“I could still lose a few pounds.” Etc.

I remind you: these guys have never dated anyone as attractive as this girl !!!

However, they lacked so much self-awareness that it was not a big deal to objectify her and criticize her completely for a minute to get to know her.

Did they care if their friend was happy or not? Did they try to get to know the woman on a personal level? Wondering if it was interesting, funny, or clever?

Of course not.

They reduced their value to how excited their biological symmetry was on a scale of 1 to 10.

In the collection, a perfect “10” woman is ideal. Fans are obsessed with sleeping with as many as 10 as possible.

But it never stops.

There was a coach who had been with over a hundred pretty women and when he came out and said he didn’t make him happy, he made fun of him.

And the antithesis of convincing a lot of women to sleep with you is Actually, entering into a relationship with one of them. How dare anyone do that!

Even Neil Strauss, whose book The game it all started, he was rejected when he wrote about falling in love with his girlfriend (model). Many members of the community vowed to burn their books and never look back.

During the time I spent in the industry, I made this fundamental observation: no one could maintain a real relationship. Instead, they all treated women as disposable numbers and were so performative that they kept everyone at bay.

They never let anyone approach them or have a chance to have a real connection. Their avoidance behaviors left them lonely, tired, and bitter.

The way men targeted women and counted them as if they were Pokémon cards never resonated with me. He did not want to be one of those old men who stripped him of his moments of maximum splendor and his perverted performances with young women.

Goodbye to weird times

These stories illustrate just a few of the many red flags I saw in the collecting community. Not included

  • How some men obsessively consumed gigabytes of collection books, courses, and videos while rarely implementing real-world tips.
  • Thousands of “secular reports” where men detail their sexual conquests online for other men to experience indirectly.
  • The many guys I met who moved to countries in Asia or Eastern Europe just because they thought they would be made easier with impoverished foreign women.
  • The language that the community invented and how we all spoke in code as if we were evil.
  • Coaches who have been literally banned from various countries for harassing and assaulting women. Not really, they can’t enter the country.

Looking back, I wish I had recognized this world of strangeness before. But when you want something so bad for yourself, it’s easy to justify your behavior and detach yourself from reality.

Like everything, though, you have to experience things for yourself before you discover the cold, hard truth. These interactions forever changed my perception of the industry, and I’m glad they did.

So the next time you’re thinking about asking me, “What was it like being a pickup artist?”

Know that my answer will be, “I went down the rabbit and trust me, you don’t want to go. He’s weird man, really … fucked … weird.”

Do you want to attract more women and build real confidence without resorting to obscure tactics? Talk to me for a free, confidential strategy session.

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