10 useful things to remember when you are healing after a breakup Alexis Meads | Dating coach and dating expert

I know how it feels to cry my eyes out, once again, for someone I’ve tried to overcome but still love.

Breakups are not only difficult, the loss of a relationship can often be as painful as the loss of a loved one.

It makes sense: this person you loved so deeply, who was such an important part of your life, has suddenly disappeared, unreachable, untouchable.

The loss is real. Don’t let anyone tell you you just have to get over it.

It is a loss of the future you had imagined with him. A loss of the future family you imagined. The loss of all those wonderful moments that you believe in your heart were just around the corner.

Although it is hard to accept at first, this is actually a good sign, going through a broken heart.

It means you’ve loved someone, tried something real, and let life teach you.

To deal with loss and evil, your mind begins to try to make sense of what happened. You’ll find yourself making excuses to help answer this big question: Because?

You can tell yourself, “I’m not pretty enough” o “I’m not successful enough” o “I’m unlucky in love”.

All of these are forms of judgment and can be released.

Maybe you regret something you said or did. Something that cannot be changed.

But I have heard another vision of losing love …

What if no relationship really “ended” with the breakup, divorce, or death of a loved one? What if that was just a story they told us?

What if, on the other hand, love between two people lived as an entity separate from the two people in the same relationship, almost as a child does?

What if what you’re really breaking down are the outdated images of who you were together, of the projected future plans you had for each other, of what should have been more than what it is?

I used to feel so frustrated, years after the end of a meaningful long-term relationship in my life, when I woke up with sadness or longing for a dream I had about my ex.

I couldn’t understand why my subconscious wouldn’t let him go, even though I rarely thought about him on a day-to-day basis.

A spiritual guide once told me that we had a lot of life karma spent together, and this is probably true.

The heart does not understand separation, death, or divorce, and love will continue to live.

This way of seeing a relationship made sense to me, but what I needed to break with once and for all were those projected images and a false narrative with which he spoke to me about “us.”

You don’t have to live with the plans, dreams, and dreams of what once was or could have been, that will only leave you perpetually hurt.

Here are 10 things to remember when you recover from a breakup:

1. If someone rejects you, it does not mean that you should feel rejected or considered less than worthy. I know this person’s opinion meant the world to you, but there are potentially thousands of men who would love to be with you.

2. Breaks and transitions to life are the perfect opportunity to let go of a situation and open up to better possibilities that are approaching.

3. You can go over everything that has been on your mind over and over again, wondering what you could have done or said differently, but it doesn’t make sense. Nothing will change in the present moment.

4. That beautiful, loving emotion you had for that person in the first place is often the same emotion that will gradually heal your broken heart.

5. Something that hurts you now in the end will make you stronger in the end.

6. You are human and the human heart goes through misery and sorrow. Instead of fighting it, learn to flow through it and use it as fuel to love life and others even more deeply. Give yourself a chance to love again, to feel again, and to live again.

7. Sometimes you have to go through a lack of love to help you see that you were worth a lot more than you were willing to settle for.

8. Life has bigger plans for you that don’t involve crying at night over a bottle of wine or believing you’re broken and unworthy of love.

9. Time does not cure all things, but most do.

10. No willpower will force you to overcome lovelessness faster. Feel your feelings. Breathe. Give it time.

Now I would love to hear from you.

Choose one or both of the following questions to answer the following comments.

  1. How did you struggle with lovelessness?
  2. How did you deal with it and what advice would you give to someone who is going through it?

Remember, share as much detail as possible in your answer. Hundreds of amazing souls come here every week for information and inspiration, and your story can help someone else make significant progress.

Thank you so much for adding your love and voice to this amazing community.

If you have friends, clients, or colleagues struggling to find strength in lovelessness, share this post or contact us to arrange a private coaching session.

XO

Alexis